Snow Murder And Mayhem Part Two

Posted by Heidi in long amusing-wannabe post

It was a vacation doomed from the start. You know what I mean (unless you haven’t read part one, in which case, go HERE). However, once we found our turn off to the ski resort, we thought we were home free. We were in raptures when we saw the name of the resort show up on a huge sign, then we saw the actual ski area and then more driving and more snow and driving, driving, driving . . .as it turns out, the ski lodge, (well, hotel inn thing, ah, let’s face it, it was basically a motel) was almost a mile away from the resort. So much for my sitting in the lobby by the fire watching the skiing from the window—there was no way I could leave the Big Guy in our room alone all day while I sat in some resort lounge with the Little Guy a mile away. My vision of reading and sipping hot chocolate in a glamorous location went POOF!

When we finally pulled up in front of the pokey little place, there was a sign that said we were allowed to park in front for loading and unloading only. Wha? Didn’t they realize it was snowing outside? Like, a lot? We were expected to trudge through the snow to the parking lot around the corner any time we wanted to go somewhere? (Turns out that strip of parking had to be empty b/c the snow plow came through early in the morning—important to know for later.) Well, okay, we would worry about that another time. We got all our stuff—the usual clothing, bottled water, snacks plus toys for the boys, electronic and otherwise, the huge bag of snow clothes and boots (did I say boots? B/c that would be incorrect since we left the snow boots—newly purchased for this very adventure—in a box in the garage where they were waiting to be loaded into the car) and headed in the door.

The first thing I noticed was the smell. It wasn’t a good smell, either. It smelled like the place was pretty much wet all of the time (and it pretty much was). The locker area for snow paraphernalia was right in front (makes perfect sense but I’m not a skier so I wasn’t expecting it) and "wet" wasn't the worst smell that hit me. Faugh!! The lobby was a bit better. We immediately started looking around for the hotel restaurant, but guess what? There wasn’t one. As we checked in we were told there was a microwave and small fridge in our room. That was something, at least.

It wasn’t until we headed up to our room, all of us loaded up with our things (except the Big Guy who needs all of his faculties about him to keep from tripping and falling down) that we learned there was no elevator. Our room? On the third floor. The first flight of stairs, though wet, were okay, but the following flights, two for each level, were metal and each had a heavy metal door at the bottom and the top. We begged the Big Guy to open and close the doors for us but he just couldn’t seem to manage (for those who are new here, our Big Guy suffers from cerebral palsy and that’s just the beginning of his list of differences). So, after banging our way up the stairs (did I mention, six flights?), the Big Guy whining and complaining all the way, me wanting to get my hands around someone’s neck (anyone’s would do), we finally arrived in our room.

The maid was still cleaning it. Here we were, five hours later than expected, and they were still cleaning our room! It was clear it was needed. It was dirty and smelled way worse. Someone had suffered—deeply--through some kind of alien sickness and only moments ago, it would seem. The maid finished up and scurried off. As soon as she was gone, we called the lobby and asked for another room. The new room was much better (and ready which begs the question—why not put us there in the first place?) but the fridge smelled, the microwave was tiny and there was a four inch crust of snow on the inside of the window.

It was now getting close to nine and we hadn’t eaten anything but crackers and cookies since we had left the house around noon. So, The Spouse got into the car to buy TV dinners and whatever else he could find to get us through Monday morning (the next day was Sunday and though we felt okay about going down to a hotel restaurant to eat, we didn’t want to take the kids “out” to eat on the Sabbath).

Meanwhile, I turned up the heat in the room, got things unpacked and tried to tune out the whining of the Big Guy who not only needed food—after all, one has to feed a 6 foot 250 pound body on a fairly regular basis—but his “mental” medicine, as well, and he was hours overdue. (You don't want to spend the night in the same room with the Big Guy when he hasn't had his depression/anxiety/bipolar meds.) Since he can’t swallow pills, he has to have it served to him crushed in ice cream—only Dryer’s brand chocolate would do—so we had to wait until The Spouse got back from the grocery store. Once everyone was fed and medicated, I felt things would get back on track.

But I was wrong.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 at Wednesday, February 11, 2009 and is filed under long amusing-wannabe post . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

33 wise, witty and wonderful comments

Kristina P.

This read like a spooky Steven King novel! This isn't going to turn into The Shining, is it?

February 11, 2009 at 10:38 AM

Lara Neves

I really hate it when you get to your hotel, expecting something wonderful and find it's nothing even close. I much prefer the opposite.

February 11, 2009 at 10:45 AM

Heidi

Lara--who wouldn't? Except, if I was expecting something this bad, I wouldn't have gone. I really wanted to kill my sister, who recommened it, but murder is frowned upon, no? Kristina--so much for my humor blog, huh? I really tried to make it more amusing but I am so nervous about Saturday I could wet my pants and it's taking all of my energy not to.

February 11, 2009 at 10:52 AM

Unknown

Oh Heidi....are you sure you shouldn't save this story and use it as your newest novel. It is enthralling in all of it's installments.

February 11, 2009 at 11:02 AM

Annette Lyon

This just makes me sick--especially with the smells you described. Ugh!!!

February 11, 2009 at 11:08 AM

Heatherlyn

Oh, how could it get better when you forgot the boots at home? That in itself would have made me miserable.

Snow on the inside of the windows?

3rd floor with no elevator?

Smelliness?

I can't wait to read what you write about next!

February 11, 2009 at 11:17 AM

MakingChanges

I want to cry for you...

BTW- what kind of freakin' hotel has a 3rd floor but NO elevators? Retarded ones!

I think that most hotels have a permasmell going on. Too many people's B.O. mixing together = not a good thing!

February 11, 2009 at 11:44 AM

Melinda

This is making me sick. I feel so bad! Don't worry, I will still definitely keep reading, but MAN! Its horrible! I hate creepy/stinky/yucky/disgusting motel rooms, HATE them! (I would be murdering my sister too!) :)

February 11, 2009 at 11:45 AM

Sabrina

Uh Oh... Im nervous for what is about to happen next....

February 11, 2009 at 11:46 AM

Luisa Perkins

Oh, poor Big Guy. Poor Heidi. Poor Spouse. Just, poor everyone. Yikes.

February 11, 2009 at 12:03 PM

Anonymous

Oh, Heidi--you poor thing. A barn-yard hotel room, artic windowpanes, cross-country trekking...I'd want to murder my sister too!!! This is NOT a cozy place. Cozy is bed n' breakfasts with cute lil' faucets and room service.

And there's more to come?!

February 11, 2009 at 12:04 PM

Miranda

Oh wow...more...more...don't leave us hangin'...what happens next??

February 11, 2009 at 12:05 PM

reed russell

Is there an end to this "shaggy dog" story? And how much is even true?

February 11, 2009 at 12:51 PM

TisforTonya

2 words: justifiable homicide.

February 11, 2009 at 12:55 PM

LisAway

Oh my gosh. This is awful. How many times have I been stuck in a hotel with my kids and no food. I really hate that. It's never been even a hundredth part as bad as this, though.

I hope it is some consolation to you that this is making a fantastic story, even though it was causing you to want to "do" murder. (I love that, BTW. Like it's just something to do. A regular pastime.)

February 11, 2009 at 1:05 PM

Anonymous

still here and this is just good reading !

February 11, 2009 at 1:37 PM

Heidi

Julie--ha! You put your name in your blog today so now I know it. Finally! Melinda, you said it (though I did make an incorrect assumption and that is never any good). Reed--I see no shaggy dog. Where is the shaggy dog? I don't get it. And, yes, there's an end but not yet. And every single stinkin' word is the truth. Who could make this stuff up? Who would believe it? T--Love it! Lisa--love that you love it! Stacey, Laura, Melinda, and everyone else--thanks for the encouragement. So, I should finish the story? hmm,. ...

February 11, 2009 at 1:51 PM

Barbaloot

Ah! Again with the cliff hanger. Make it stop!

February 11, 2009 at 2:03 PM

Jan

For some reason, I am scared of the bed bugs biting me tonight :)

Can't wait to hear more. I had to plug my nose the whole time I read this.

February 11, 2009 at 2:15 PM

Randi

Uggh.. I don't know if I want to know the end, but I CAN"T STOP READING!! Helllllp me!!

Oh, and Jeeves is in excellent form today.

February 11, 2009 at 4:34 PM

heather

This is sounding like a nightmare. I look forward to the rest...

(At least it provided some good reading material, right?)

February 11, 2009 at 4:48 PM

Aquaspce

Bahahahaha!
The ending to this story is going to be a gooder, I can tell!
Don't leave us hanging too long ;)

February 11, 2009 at 4:59 PM

Kazzy

You paint a good picture my friend, you certainly do! Love reading a serial. Especially one written by you!

February 11, 2009 at 5:19 PM

wendy

Oh my gosh, this sounds like a disaster?? I can't stand it when a trip is ruined by a lousy room (we've had a few of those) with bad smells, and questionable surroundings. No fireplace in the Giant gathering room with you hot chocolate...so sad. And you forgot the new boots!!!! Are you ready to tear you hair out. Does this get better???

p.s. thanks for you comments on my blog about "comments, those who do and those who don't" I agree!!

I'll keep my fingers crossed on the outcome of this "snow adventure"

February 11, 2009 at 5:22 PM

Banteringblonde

Oooh a Tuesday treat! I know the smell you write of very well.... I love to ski so I actually have a sick appreciation for that smell. Although, I suspect the drier climate of CO would have my ski smell be less intoxicating than yours!!!

February 11, 2009 at 5:37 PM

Heidi

Barb, sorry, but there's more!!! Jan, Heather, and the rest--so sorry to gross you out! Kazzy--thanks, doll! Abra--yay!! YOu're here! Wendy, you are very welcome. I am very generous with my opinion ;S Fiona--that is the thing that fascinated me about CO--the snow was like sand. We had to spray it with water to make it stick together for a snowman!

February 11, 2009 at 5:45 PM

Heather

I can't wait to find out what happens next. Hope you post soon.

February 11, 2009 at 8:06 PM

Shelle-BlokThoughts

OH MY GOSh do I have a hotel story for you...not told quite as cool and intense as you...but I have a story...a yucky, stinky, smelly, story with a yucky lady served us breakfast... *shudders*

This story is SOOOO great! :)

February 11, 2009 at 8:20 PM

Jami

Doomed. I'm so sorry. I know all about doomed. God bless you for not actually committing murder.

February 11, 2009 at 11:46 PM

charrette

Thank you for forgetting the snow boots! I thought I was the only one who did things like that! Loving this whole story. Can't wait for the next installment.

February 12, 2009 at 4:49 AM

Kelline

I can only imagine........sheesh, may have to tune in this weekend sometime the suspense will eat at me!

February 12, 2009 at 8:58 AM

April

I am NOT a fan of motels.....they scare me! I have a germ phobia....a bad one! I will have to scrounge up some pics of when we went to Palmyra and show you those...they are disturbing!

February 12, 2009 at 9:12 AM

Heidi

I would love to hear all of your motel stories! Bring 'em on!

February 12, 2009 at 9:54 AM