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The Do's And Don'ts Of Christmas 2008  

Posted by Heidi in


Do put the baking soda in the snicker doodles unless hard pellets with the potential of weapons is the desired intent.

Don’t keep your pencils, point up, just under the outlet you use to plug in the hand mixer.

Don’t allow your 7 year old to sharpen said pencils as a way to while away the time the day before using said outlet (ouch!)

Don’t assume that your Big Guy won't throw up on Christmas eve just because he has done it so many Christmases before and it would be too ironic.

Do be prepared with clean up supplies (because: Big Guy=ironic).

DO NOT tell your daughter, as your Big Guy is heaving, to buck up and “just fuggedaboutit!” lest more therapy bills are in your future.

Do not put a votive candle too close to a greeting card, even if it seems safe, unless it is a plastic coated one which will give you just enough time to discover the little fire before it burns the house down.

Do not laugh hysterically in the face of your Big Guy when he suggests, “when you see a fire, just blow it out.”

Do not ralph on your Little Guy when he exclaims over the santa-sized dimensions of your wheat filled stomach, punctuated with a good pummeling to said santa-sized aperture.

Do not leave the house for a marathon shopping trip without first checking to make sure there is plenty of toilet paper in the Big Guy’s bathroom lest you come home to learn that the Big Guy has been seated on the throne for nigh on two hours waiting for said toilet paper to appear.
Do give him one of his Christmas presents RIGHT AWAY in an attempt to insure he is too distracted to form some scary and unspecified revenge when you least suspect it-- but don’t count on it working (see item #4)

Hey, today is the day someone wins an Amazon gift card for the purchase of Miss Delacourt Speaks Her Mind (or whatev, b/c I’m easy that way). Go here for all of the awesome details and the chance to win more awesome prizes for the next 7 days. Once you get the info for how to win the Amazon gift card, come back here (you will know why once you go THERE). Hint: see sidebar (ooh, so mysterious . . .)

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