All are welcome at Dunhaven Place, only, if you want us at our best, please do give us a bit of a heads up!

(Before reading this post, go below and read the one about my dad (cause I love him) then the one about my little Tommy Tune, then the one about my book cover, and then, please do vote at the poll to the right if you have not already done so. Then come back and read this because you really don’t want to miss it! Really! Also, warning--this is a seriously picture-deprived post--sorry! I had to protect the innocent, as well as the guilty, but I do have proof, oh yes, I do, should anyone get any ideas . . .)

We recently had an interesting experience at our house. So interesting in fact that I cannot divulge the names of the players in this little drama lest blood is spilt. Let’s just say that I learned a lot about how to plan a visit from out of town. Since the person who played the largest role in said drama made it pretty darn obvious he/she does not read my blog, I feel it only fair to satirize him/her her. Please keep in mind, this is all just in fun. At least, it'll be fun for me!

Let’s just say that you are someone who has recently moved many states away from a place of long term residency and are about to pay a visit to the family and friends you left behind. It can be difficult to get around to seeing everyone that is important to you—and then there are those pesky relatives that will expect a visit. How to deal with them? Never fear! Here are some important do’s and don’ts penned by one “who knows”. At least they are important if you plan to do a flying drive-by through, er, visit our little town ever again.

1. DO call at least a day prior to your planned visit. Better yet, call before you leave your home to let us know you will be in town and wish to visit with us so that our already planned activities can be rearranged and other important items taken care of. We want to make you feel important and that we are glad to see you, not make you feel like a last minute obligation.

2. DON’T call at 8 a.m on a Sunday morning and a holiday to boot, when perhaps people had long planned to sleep in, then ask, in their perfect state of grogginess, if they are available for a visit in a few hours time.

3. DO NOT tell the people you are asking to open their arms to you that you have already been in town for a whole day, that you will be here for four more but you only have one hour, that very day, to squeeze them in for a visit. This might leave them with the impression that they are merely an obligation, which really puts a damper on the enthusiasm level, if you know what I mean.

4. Most definitely DO NOT attempt to gain sympathy for your plight by explaining that so many friends and family have already scheduled meetings with you, which is why you need us so desperately to accomodate your schedule. On a holiday. When plans were in place, purchases made for said plans, etc. This might give the impression that all those other people had already heard from you and had already had a chance to make plans with you, yea, even before we were made aware that you were in town. (And, yes, I’m yelling. Too bad you can’t hear me. )

5. Once the meeting is scheduled, DO, and I can’t emphasize this enough, DO be on time.

6. DON’T (and again, I can’t emphasize this enough) try to gain our sympathy for your plight at being late by saying that the last person you were visiting just couldn’t stand to see you go, so you extended that visit by a few hours, making you late to our meeting. After rearranging the whole day. At the last minute. Just for you.

7. DO apologize profusely for being late.

8. DON’T expect people to say it’s okay. It’s not. Let me say that again. It’s NOT.

9. DO have the courtesy to at least ask what plans of ours might have had to be foregone in order to shoe-horn you in. Perhaps the people you landed in on had tickets to the opera or an audience with the Queen. Or maybe just a visit to other family members who consequently had to put off THEIR visit to the Queen in order to accommodate the very ones you are discommoding. (sheesh!)

10. Lastly, DO make a priority list of those you want to visit, in order of importance.

11. At the same time, DON”T make it woefully obvious where anyone falls on said list—particularly the ones on the bottom. They (the ones on the bottom) might take it, well, kinda hard. That is, if hovering under the covers in bed for the whole day is taking it “kinda hard” . . .

And, in future, DO read my blog. It will keep you safe from this kind of public humiliation in future. Oh, and DO send chocolate. Lotttsssssa, lotsa chocolate.

Love, Us