“We'd stuff some Twining Tea in a pipe, smoke that and write songs." Paul McCartney

Sugar and wheat. They make me feel good in spirit and mind but they make me feel bad in body and soul. Eventually, enough feeling bad in body and soul can make one feel bad in spirit and mind, as well. But I have the cure for that! More sugar and wheat! Wheeeeeeeee!

It’s a conundrum. When I eat what I want exactly when I want it, I am more cheerful. I don’t yell at the kids as much (even sometimes not at all but that’s mostly when the sugar and chocolate is coming via IV). I get obsessed with food so I cook and bake more (surely better for my kids!) and even spend time cleaning the kitchen. Plus, I spend less money on frivolous stuff because I am too busy baking. And here’s one that can’t be ignored; like the Beatles, I find my “drugs” aid in the creative process (not that I'm comparing myself to them. Or am I?).

However, when I eat wheat and sugar my body swells, inside and out (some of it’s fat, some of it’s not), sometimes my throat swells up, making it hard to breath (and breathing is so darn necessary!) my muscles get stiff and everything hurts. In the morning, I often feel all hang-overy (or how I imagine a hangover would feel) and there are moments, in the first deep, dark, cold, wintry moments of wakefulness, when I actually-but-very-briefly consider ending it all. (Just kidding! Sort of.) PLUS if I were to continue eating wheat and sugar in the huge quantities I have been rabidly imbibing them this past week (my Birthday Day of Wheat was actually a week—shocking, I know! In fact, it will have been a total of 9 days when I’m done but only if I actually stop tomorrow ‘cause it’s already too late today) I am doomed to an early demise either from diabetes or cancer (the only one who loves sugar better than me is cancer cells!) or kidney failure due to an over abundance of Advil. It happens. And last but not least, I have a hard time finding the humor in every day life.

In light of all of this, I one day asked the Middle Child this loaded question. “Would you rather have a mom who is happy now and dies young or one who is cranky but will still be around when you have your own kids?”

Her answer: “Gee Mom, that’s a tough one.”

And that's all I've got (because, you know, speechless!)