Where is everybody? Voting? Trick or treating? Carving pumpkins? It’s a little early for those things. Should I assume the lack of interest in my blog is personal? It’s okay. I’m only crying a little bit.
So, for those of you who are actually here right now and who might not be aware, there are those who actually plan to come to my blog (and actually read it) and those who stumble in completely unawares. Often these people are googling something entirely unrelated and come up with my blog as a result of their search which is no doubt a real bummer for them but a source of delight for me since some of the search words are so far from anything I meant to say (though, no doubt said it anyhow) while some are just so darn revealing of human nature. These are the fun search words from the month of October.
Mormon you’ve been boo’d. As opposed to the non-Mormon you’ve been booed? How are they different? Enquiring minds need to know.
Obsessed with finding an illness. Me too, but not so much since I quit my day job.
Airport security, chocolate. My favorite kind of combo--chocolate and anything.
Knowledge never ends. That’s assuming you had some to begin with. Which this person clearly is assuming I do. So, thank you! I think.
Chic Miniature blogspot. Tiny but chic blog or blog about chic minis? Either way, it tickles me.
Husband has no parenting skills. Whoa! You are barking up the wrong tree, here!
Caleb Baldwin, Mormon. Yes he was. And is. This is my nephew’s name but more importantly, it is the name of my illustrious ancestor who, 150 some years ago, hobnobbed with Joseph Smith and acted as his scribe whilst in Liberty Jail. (I am Baldwin! Hear me roar!)
How wide is the Mississippi. This one comes up over and over and over again, mostly from foreign countries. What they don’t know is that we citizens of the U.S. know less about our own geography than you people in Macedonia. Yep. Macedonia. That’s in Greece. (Or Greece is in Macedonia. Right?)
Feet in the face. Such a common dilemma.
Cutie patootie mother of the bride dresses. Personally I would prefer the elegant kind but don't mind me.
How to make Twilight dolls? As if!
Dunhaven clothing. I had no idea. I’ll have to get me some of those.
Are funny people smart? I don’t know. I am too busy trying to be funny to figure it out.
Bike stealing. I plead the fifth.
Young and tender. And we’re talking about what here? Never mind, don’t answer that.
Where does breaking dawn take place? This one comes up again and again and again. I don’t understand why they want to know the location of Breaking Dawn and not Twilight, or New Moon or Eclipse. Since I haven't read it yet, I suspect there's something I don’t know such as, Steph Meyer discovered there are other states than Washington. Wait! Don't tell me! Edward and Bella move to Utah and set up house next door to Tamn. Bwaaaahhhhaaahhhaaaa!
Bichon Superman. Since Tom Welling as Superman and my bichon are two of the cutest things on earth, this could be a killer combination. One can’t blame this googler for hoping.
Long hair and full lips. Clearly not me. Mine are age-deflated.
Husband has no parenting skills. Whoa! You are barking up the wrong tree, here!
Caleb Baldwin, Mormon. Yes he was. And is. This is my nephew’s name but more importantly, it is the name of my illustrious ancestor who, 150 some years ago, hobnobbed with Joseph Smith and acted as his scribe whilst in Liberty Jail. (I am Baldwin! Hear me roar!)
How wide is the Mississippi. This one comes up over and over and over again, mostly from foreign countries. What they don’t know is that we citizens of the U.S. know less about our own geography than you people in Macedonia. Yep. Macedonia. That’s in Greece. (Or Greece is in Macedonia. Right?)
Feet in the face. Such a common dilemma.
Cutie patootie mother of the bride dresses. Personally I would prefer the elegant kind but don't mind me.
How to make Twilight dolls? As if!
Dunhaven clothing. I had no idea. I’ll have to get me some of those.
Are funny people smart? I don’t know. I am too busy trying to be funny to figure it out.
Bike stealing. I plead the fifth.
Young and tender. And we’re talking about what here? Never mind, don’t answer that.
Where does breaking dawn take place? This one comes up again and again and again. I don’t understand why they want to know the location of Breaking Dawn and not Twilight, or New Moon or Eclipse. Since I haven't read it yet, I suspect there's something I don’t know such as, Steph Meyer discovered there are other states than Washington. Wait! Don't tell me! Edward and Bella move to Utah and set up house next door to Tamn. Bwaaaahhhhaaahhhaaaa!
Bichon Superman. Since Tom Welling as Superman and my bichon are two of the cutest things on earth, this could be a killer combination. One can’t blame this googler for hoping.
Long hair and full lips. Clearly not me. Mine are age-deflated.
Is there wheat in alcohol? It would explain a lot.
Seven sisters shoes. Another one that comes up often and often. I suspect in this case someone is using this combo to actually find my actual blog in an actual way. Actually. Cause I have seven sisters and I posted a picture of our seven shoes. And it was cute and memorable. Obviously.
How to train an eyebrow hair. Or One eyebrow higher than another. Again, a common one. What can I say? Ever since I posted back on day three of my blog about my iconic eyebrow (it’s actually ironic but since I compared mine to Spock’s, it’s also iconic)I have been persecuted by those who want to know all about eyebrows. I think there is a cautionary tale in there somewhere.
Emotional gagging. Is possible?
Jami L_________ blog. I’ll bet they were pretty disappointed when all they got was mine.
Dead bride outfit. Gotta love it.
I hate crunchy peanut butter. Me too, but that's the point.
When should you not feed a gremlin. Because if you feed it at the wrong time, (or at all) you get "the Big Guy".
Drunk gal. Please, nobody call my bishop.
Woman in white car “report”. There’s nothing official here. It’s all “off the record” or “off her rocker”, whichever.
Seven sisters shoes. Another one that comes up often and often. I suspect in this case someone is using this combo to actually find my actual blog in an actual way. Actually. Cause I have seven sisters and I posted a picture of our seven shoes. And it was cute and memorable. Obviously.
How to train an eyebrow hair. Or One eyebrow higher than another. Again, a common one. What can I say? Ever since I posted back on day three of my blog about my iconic eyebrow (it’s actually ironic but since I compared mine to Spock’s, it’s also iconic)I have been persecuted by those who want to know all about eyebrows. I think there is a cautionary tale in there somewhere.
Emotional gagging. Is possible?
Jami L_________ blog. I’ll bet they were pretty disappointed when all they got was mine.
Dead bride outfit. Gotta love it.
I hate crunchy peanut butter. Me too, but that's the point.
When should you not feed a gremlin. Because if you feed it at the wrong time, (or at all) you get "the Big Guy".
Drunk gal. Please, nobody call my bishop.
Woman in white car “report”. There’s nothing official here. It’s all “off the record” or “off her rocker”, whichever.
Does Tonner still make Tiny Kitty? I don’t know but if not, I have one I can sell you, cheap.
Puffs Plus. I should probably be compensated by Puffs for all my free advertising. Anybody have their number?
Vampire room miniature. Never done one but it sounds like a good idea. You know, in light of. (Are you going to make me say it?)
Mormon celiac. Is there something I should know?
Did a king and queen live in Cooling Castle before. Before what? I guess I’m going to have to google that one myself because now I gotta know!
Grooms outfit pink. Ouch!
Is there any way to soothe my burning face? Honey, I don’t know, why don’t you ask your mother?
(This just in right before I posted) Surely all people deserving of fire must have visited this place where all and nothing can be found. What is this place? Whoa! Profound! And can I say?—a bit incomprehensible.
Makes my mind go blank. Ah! Now, this time they came to the right place.
Puffs Plus. I should probably be compensated by Puffs for all my free advertising. Anybody have their number?
Vampire room miniature. Never done one but it sounds like a good idea. You know, in light of. (Are you going to make me say it?)
Mormon celiac. Is there something I should know?
Did a king and queen live in Cooling Castle before. Before what? I guess I’m going to have to google that one myself because now I gotta know!
Grooms outfit pink. Ouch!
Is there any way to soothe my burning face? Honey, I don’t know, why don’t you ask your mother?
(This just in right before I posted) Surely all people deserving of fire must have visited this place where all and nothing can be found. What is this place? Whoa! Profound! And can I say?—a bit incomprehensible.
Makes my mind go blank. Ah! Now, this time they came to the right place.
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