Miss Delacourt Speaks Her Mind Is Somewhat Autobiographical  

Posted by Heidi in

I got my “covers” in the mail the other day. One might wonder, or even ask, “What is a cover?” I’m right with you, babe. When people, as in authors with whom I commune, have mentioned “getting covers,” I assumed (a dangerous thing at best) that it was a cover of the cover. In short, a piece of art quality paper sporting the same image as my book cover. What I did not expect to receive was five dust jackets/book covers. What on earth am I to do with five purposeless book jackets? (Okay, I can frame one so that brings it down to four.) Meanwhile, I am a bit concerned my bookless jackets will develop some kind of complex. For this reason I shall refrain from such damaging phrases as “Hey, buddy, lazy much?” or “Get a job, already!” Perhaps it would be kinder to employ them in covering other books that are without their own jackets. Yet, I fret this could cause a serious identity crisis. What’s an author to do? This is not a rhetorical question people; I really need (to laugh at) your (humorous and clever) ideas as do some other owners of said bookless covers I know.

Another confession: I never mailed the lavander sachets made out of the antique baby dress with original scorch marks. And why is that? Because I haven’t made them. Yet. (Or ever.) And why is that? Because only my family members entered that particular contest and I know they will forgive me for neglecting to keep my promise. (Maybe.) But, hey, look at the bright side, oh-my-sisters-who-actually-read-my-blog, this also means that those mosaic stepping stones made of my broken pretties will never find their way to your homes, either. So, Mary, of Mary Had A Little Glob (isn’t she clever?) YES! You may have one, too. I will mail it to you when I mail theirs.

Lastly, (and this is the last time I’m going to mention it) I want you to know that each and every night The Spouse must rock me in his arms while I weep over matters too odious to mention. For this reason, I have moved the “follower” section down past the page fold so that I don’t have to look at it as often because The Spouse is starting to get worn out and tired and complaining about the knotted muscles in his arms and is threatening to post lies and innuendos on my blog that will chase everyone away in hopes that it will be the end of this blog (and the weeping and the rocking).
P.S. If you go to my sidebar (the really classy blogs now all have two sidebars) and scroll down to the little rectangle that is kind of yellow and green and red and features two weird creatures chasing a cat and reads: Humor Blogs, be a dear and click on it. When you get there, it will bring up my most recent posts. You can then rate these posts--in fact, you could probably go back quite a ways and rate the ones that you might most particularly like. This is a totally anonymous procedure, is easy and quite painless from what I have been told. Currently I am around 1,300 out of 1,300 blogs listed. To give you some perspective, Sue at Navel Gazing is somewhere in the 200's. So, give it a try--it could be fun!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 8, 2008 at Wednesday, October 08, 2008 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

10 wise, witty and wonderful comments

Cover your poor overused uncorrected proof. Laminate them and use them as place mats. Make rolled paper beads out of them and wear them to your book signings. Frame them all and give them out in lieu of Christmas presents.

The lack of followers is a bit sad. We can't all be Sue. Does it help to know that you have precisely twice as many followers as I do?

In spite of the fact that I invited ugly people too! You'd think adding ugly people would have upped the number of people who qualified to follow my blog. I care about more than just a pretty face, people. I want your statistical self as well. And a few comments.

My dear husband runs away screaming like a little girl when I mention anything emotional about my blog. I think he just likes to look at the pictures.

October 8, 2008 at 5:11 PM

Oh, Jami, you made me laugh so hard!! I should have thought of inviting Ugly People, as well. But so far, I just have the beautiful ones (including you!) I know, we can't all be Sue and yes, I realize that I am being a real crybaby. That's why I am not going to mention it again. I like your ideas--covering the advanced reader copy is an awesome idea! I like the placemat idea, too--and for Christmas! Won't my husband and the kids be thrilled? This doesn't mean that I don't want to hear all the other ideas out there . ..

October 8, 2008 at 5:25 PM

For goodness sake Heidi, You should cover other books in your Library with the covers so that all who enter your comfortable and oh so wonderfully decorated abode see them and ask,'my, what an interesting book cover and you have so many, it must be fascinating reading, pray tell where I may find a copy of my own.' That is precisely what I would do with them.

October 8, 2008 at 6:30 PM

Oh and just for future reference I have found that people who blog are not only incredibly attractive but capable of carrying on quite a stimulating conversation.

October 8, 2008 at 6:35 PM

How about using them as a floor protector in Big Guy's bathroom?

October 8, 2008 at 9:11 PM

You know, using them in the BG bathroom would probably give them more usage than anywhere else. LOL! Roxanne, you are such a jewel! Move to California, why don't ya?

October 8, 2008 at 9:25 PM

Okay, Heidi. I'm going to follow you, now that I hear you're opening up to the Uglies, too. Kidding, but really. I have been struggling with whether or not to "follow" blogs that I don't read every single post of. Since I only met you recently, I have just been coming twice a week or so. But I think that IS following, as in, I'm definitely coming back over and over. So I'm following. I wish I could give you a little of my "I don't care-ness." About stuff like that. I think it's because I only started my blog to keep up with family, and you're a real live authoress who needs readers! It's still early days, you realize. Word will spread about your awesomeness.

Oh, and as far as trying to be clever? I can't. I love Jami's suggestions, though!

October 9, 2008 at 10:21 AM

Lisa, you make me weep tears of pure joy. Not kidding.

October 9, 2008 at 10:41 AM

So exciting to have your covers arrive! Your book is getting so close. Stuff like that makes it feel more real, somehow.

I insist that you frame one.

October 10, 2008 at 8:36 PM

Thanks Charrette--I think I will!

October 11, 2008 at 7:40 AM

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