When Life Hands You Lemons, Avoid Squirting It In Your Eye  

Posted by Heidi in ,

“Shhhh!” she admonished (she, being me) as she checked over one shoulder and then the other (lest the Middle Child sees what I am up to). The MC has put a moratorium on posting about her but I feel my blog is sadly unbalanced without amusing anecdotes concerning her. How would it look to future generations? How does it look to those who read it now? Rather hostile, I say, and that must be rectified!

The problem is, she is the only one here at Dunhaven Place in a position to have an opinion with regards to what I write. The Big Guy is oblivious, the Little Guy is honored (something he will no doubt grow out of) and The Spouse is always poised to be supportive whether he feels like it or not. The Middle Child, however, is at that age where childhood and adulthood run smack into each other, leaving a great big owie in it’s wake.

Still, the Middle Child has always been a bit of a serious kid, even as a baby. Now that she is older, she can be amusing, even wickedly funny for a barb or two, and she makes us laugh when she does her foreign accent imitations. Sadly, those things just don’t translate to a blog post. So, in desperation, I went to the notebook where I write down the amusing things my kids say and had a bit of luck. The following is something I hope won’t offend her. (I am sure she will let me have it, er, let me know if I erred. It's one of her special talents.)

When she was about three or four she one day piped up with this bright remark. “Granny is Grandpa’s life, isn’t she?” You can imagine the width and breadth of my reaction. I was impressed. I mean, who wouldn’t be? The kid was three (or four) and Granny and Grandpa lived in a different state, in fact, a different country at the time. To be so insightful about two people she rarely saw not to mention the complexities of human relationships was clearly evidence of a breath-taking intelligence. Besides, it was an incredibly romantic notion and I am a big fan of romantic notions. Well, I thought, mentally polishing my nails against my sleeve, she’s a pretty bright kid!

Bright, maybe. Annoying, yes! As the hours and days went on, she made the same remark over and over again and with a strange intensity. “Granny is Grandpa’s life, isn’t she?” and I would say, “Yes! Aren’t you so clever, yes, Granny is Grandpa’s life!” But, I have to say, I was feeling less and less impressed with each increasingly annoying repetition.

After a few days of this, she cornered me, the look in her eye just a shade short of that one would employ with the village idiot, and took my face between her pudgy hands. “Granny,” she said with an unnerving amount of concentration, “is Grandpa’s wife, isn’t she?”
And, there you have the Middle Child, the one who is always there to take me down a much needed peg or two. And yet, I find I am nonetheless quite fond of her. Take that, posterity!

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 16, 2008 at Thursday, October 16, 2008 and is filed under , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

21 wise, witty and wonderful comments

ha! that was pretty cute.

October 16, 2008 at 3:53 PM

Thanks, Jenny, for what would seem to be an awfully charitable comment.

October 16, 2008 at 5:11 PM

Hey, both things are pretty clever I think! My husband actually used to keep really good track of funny things that came from the kids, but as they have gotten older we have dropped that. You know, they still say funny stuff even as teenagers! BTW, I didn't see your email addy in your profile, but yes, I am a special ed technician in a transitional kindergarten class and I love it. :)

October 16, 2008 at 7:30 PM

Kazzy, that is so neat! I am pretty clueless when it comes to email addys and profiles and stuff. What do I do?

October 16, 2008 at 7:36 PM

Very cute. Don't worry. Your MC secretly loves it.

October 16, 2008 at 7:41 PM

NATA--I hope you are right. So far she doesn't know about this most recent post . . .

October 16, 2008 at 8:29 PM

Hee hee! We've had moments like that around here as well. I wish now that I had properly recorded them!

October 16, 2008 at 8:54 PM

I don't know why I got so organized--my kids are about 5-6 years apart each, so that made it a lot easier.

October 16, 2008 at 10:18 PM

Under your profile you should be able to add your email, but that's up to you. No worries.

October 17, 2008 at 11:27 AM

That is such a cute story. Leave it to kids to always knock us down when we're getting all high and mighty about our parenting skills! I am kicking myself for not doing something like your notebook because as the weeks go by I quickly forget my cute stories. I blame it on the kids sucking the life out of my brain!

October 17, 2008 at 11:47 AM

Yes, Jen, you have a very brain-sucky situation (yet your brain l perseveres--kudos to you!) There is no way I could have done it with three kids so close together. Having my kids so spread apart has its pitfalls but it has its advantages, too. : )

Hey, Kazzy, thanks, I will check into that. I don't know why I didn't do it before. There might have been a reason. hmmmmmm

October 17, 2008 at 12:30 PM

What a darling she is! I sure think she looks a lot like your twin sister did at that age. It is funny how the genes just keep popping up and reminding us we are all related. If I recall you also had a very strong streak of intelligence at a very young and tender age. I always attributed that to being twins (I am not sure why). Notice the streak seemed to start only after I came into the picture.

October 17, 2008 at 12:43 PM

I always thought it was a parent's job to embarrass their child. My Dad wore a bright yellow T-shirt with the skunk from Bambie on it and it said, "Sniffettes." It was from Girls Camp and he was our priesthood dude for our group. I forgot to add, he would wear this t-shirt to the mall...with me! Horror! Now I think about it and I think he had some sort of secret delight.

October 17, 2008 at 12:43 PM

NATA--I recently read a humor column along the same lines,about how much fun it is to have teenagers who are so easily annoyed by you and how much fun it is to annoy them. I guess there is always a silver lining.

Roxanne--clearly there is a correlation between my intelligence and your appearance on the scene. How anyone could think otherwise boggles the mind. I do need to point out,tho, that this pic of my girl was taken about five years ago--it is a good one and I like it and it was readily available as opposed to most of my pics which are still stored on my old PC. Funny that you should say she looks like Holly rather than me--we do have differences and I see what you mean. Tho, Holly, thinks she looks like Leanns daughter. My father in law thinks the MC looks like HIS sister. So, there you go . . .

October 17, 2008 at 1:34 PM

So funny. Life, Wife, what's the difference really...
She's beautiful. I love the "now what?" look in her eye :)

October 17, 2008 at 1:45 PM

Gotta love those lemons.

October 17, 2008 at 3:05 PM

Yep, she wears that look often but it is the only time I have been able to get a pic of it. It's been five years and I have been trying ever since.

roy-boy--love you! And the lemons, too.

October 17, 2008 at 3:55 PM

so funny, I was crying while I finished this... she sounds delightful!

October 19, 2008 at 10:57 AM

Happy tears, though, right Abra? (Thanks!)

October 19, 2008 at 4:06 PM

I LOVE this! My MC has put a moratorium on posting about her as well...in fact, they sound like twins separated at birth!

Here's a favorite quote from our MC at age 3 or 4:
Mom...can I have a breast mint? (Me, looking at her, puzzles) You know...those things that make our breasts smell good?


October 21, 2008 at 8:15 AM

Oh, Jana, that was totally cute of her! It's good to know my MC isn't the only one like her around. I think . . .

October 22, 2008 at 10:36 AM

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