Things That Make My Mind Go Blank  

Posted by Heidi in


There are a number of things about which my mind will always and forever draw a blank.

My kid’s bedrooms. Oh, I know they are there; I smell them all the way from the front door on a fairly regular basis. The inevitable truth about which I constantly draw a blank is that they need to be cleaned once in a while. Even when I clean my “whole” house, the mind just goes blank about their bedrooms. (It’s no doubt due to some trauma, either from being made to clean my room as a youth or attempting to make my kids clean theirs in my dotage.) At this point, should a house robber enter our domicile through one of their rooms, he would leave defeated and utterly convinced the house had already been ransacked.

Receiving stolen goods, er, packages in the mail. I can, only moments before, be complaining about why the heck such-and-such hasn’t arrived yet via USPS or UPS or DHL (so sorry if I left anyone out) and still have no idea what’s inside the package that just landed on my doorstep. NO IDEA. It’s like Christmas morning every time (except that even Christmas mornings aren’t like Christmas morning anymore what with the fact that I buy my own Christmas presents, too--see Birthday Girl Gets Drunk on Wheat and Fumes yada yada yada).
Cars. I don’t care about cars. I don’t know what kind of car you drive, I don’t know what kind of car I drive (it's blue and beat up; that's all I need to know). Makes and models are all Greek to me. I might manage to remember yours is a huge white SUV but should you chance to wave at me from said SUV, and your windows are tinted and I am wearing my glasses instead of my contacts and it has been a while since The Spouse and I have managed to convince the Middle Child that food and water (and ice cream) will be withheld until she makes short work of the layer of grime on my auto’s windshield so that I can see your actual face, I will have no idea who you are. None. Whatsoever.

In point of fact, a few days ago, as I returned home from the school pick-up run, I pulled alongside the communal mailboxes in order to retrieve the latest crop of Netflix DVDs (without which we would wither and die or, perhaps, read more books) when a car pulled up behind me. I felt this driver really needed to get a clue and just go around me but she didn’t. So, I slowly inched forward. So did she. So, I inched up more and so did she. This was frustrating because I really wanted to get my DVDs but she just hovered behind me until I inched and inched and inched so far forward that I had pulled into my driveway at which point I saw that it was a he not a she and that it was my husband and he was waiting for me to get the heck out of the way so he could pull into the garage.

Actually, I lied. It was my neighbor whose garage butts right up next to mine (and whose car I really should know by sight) yet, whom I feel should have stopped to get her own mail, allowing me the opportunity to stop and get mine without feeling as if her car were breathing hot fuel-injected breath down my neck. Except that it was Columbus Day and there was no mail delivery and somehow she knew this even though she has been in this country for less than five years and I have been here, um, a whole lot longer.

The fact that there is no mail service on holidays. Gets me every time.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at Wednesday, October 15, 2008 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

10 wise, witty and wonderful comments

One time years ago I was with my family at the library and had a nagging feeling that I had spaced something. The next day I realized I had totally sluffed a homemaking meeting where I was the keynote speaker. So, I write things down but don't always look at the calendar :( Funny post. btw, I totally am into cars :)

October 15, 2008 at 3:18 PM

Oh, wow, that's a spacer, all right? I'm with you, I don't always look at my calendar, either. It's okay that you are into cars. You can still post comments here. Maybe.

October 15, 2008 at 4:05 PM

Hahaha. You're funny.

And the whole "bedroom-cleaning" thing? I do exactly the same thing! I had a babysitter over today who had to put the youngest boys down for naps today. I realized that while my "whole house" was clean, their rooms were atrocious. (Of course, i realized this when I didn't have time to do anything about it... Seriously. My babysitter can now blackmail me with all the hideous things she knows about our filthiness.)

October 15, 2008 at 4:54 PM

This is exactly why we do not employ babysitters. We sit at home in the dark and pretend we are out having fun. It's not much but it's better than blackmail. Thanks for your comment!

October 15, 2008 at 4:58 PM

I ALWAYS remember that there is a 1/2 price sale at Goodwill on holidays, but NEVER remember that "holiday" also means no mail.

I too have Swiss cheese brain from time to time. My kids have rooms? Ohhh. I'm supposed to do something about it? Ohhhh.

I once forgot to show up at a teacher appreciation dinner. Thank heavens someone called me. That poor (non-LDS) teacher had been sitting in the cultural hall waiting for us for nearly forty minutes. Nothing has ever topped that one for feeling bad about my spacey brain.

Dotage = great word. (Long O or a short one? I've always wondered.)

October 15, 2008 at 5:13 PM

Hmmm, does long O mean it makes the same sound as its name? If yes, than long O. : )

October 15, 2008 at 6:41 PM

Hee hee...we are kindred spirits in this respect, methinks.

I feel better for having read that.

October 15, 2008 at 10:16 PM

Ladies, it is good to know that I am in such good company. :)

October 15, 2008 at 11:20 PM

I love cars. But I also space where my children's rooms are concerned. That's their domain, not mine. I can barely keep ahead of the rest of the house.

I also seem to have something against visiting teaching appointments--all varieties. I'm surprised when the ladies show up on my doorstep, although the appointment is always on my calendar. And I can't tell you how many times I have called three hours later, or a day later, and said, "I am so sorry. I totally spaced that I was supposed to be at your house at ten o'clock yesterday morning." It's a curse.

October 18, 2008 at 7:51 AM

Ah-yes, the VT appt. I have had temporary space-outs about those, too. It has never lasted but I totally relate!

October 18, 2008 at 9:16 AM

Post a Comment