Two Weeks Ago Tuesday  

Posted by Heidi in


Emerge from blogging (if you can) long enough to remember that it is Tuesday.

Tuesday is the day the Big Guy bowls with the Special Olympics. Note that he really needs a haircut.

Note that he needs to have his hair washed before you cut it or else the shears will simply slip and slide off of the so shiny shafts of hair.

Go into the bathroom to run the water. Note that there is a soaking wet beach towel in the tub.

Remove the towel whilst noting that it is huge. Proceed to wring it out four times. Note how your arms ache.

Proceed to run the water. Note that the tub is so filthy that no one, even the Big Guy, can hope to come out cleaner than when he went in.
Clean the tub. Run the water. Instruct Big Guy to immerse.

Help the Big Guy wash his hair and search for clothes for him to wear. Note there are none for public consumption (there are some that are ripped and holey which he wears around the house but those won’t bowl well).

Gather the dirty clothes and throw them in the washer. Note that the laundry soap is almost gone and the money is almost gone but so is the month so there is hope. Help the Big Guy get dressed in the interim (i.e. holey) clothes and drag out the hair cutting paraphernalia.

Put that plastic thingy (you know, that thingy hairdressers use when they cut hair) around his neck. Note that his neck is finally bigger than the circumference of the plastic thingy.

Cut his hair. Note that he has a gorgeous head of hair. Note what a waste.

Finish cutting then remove from his shirt all the hair that circumvented the plastic thingy (due to its failure to close correctly over his large bull-sized neck). Note that it is somehow more hair than he has left on his head. Note that he was long overdue for a haircut.

Once he is gone, get out the broom and dustpan and sweep up the mess. As you dump the hair, note that it is enough to stuff a pillow, the large over-stuffed kind just begging you to sink into it with a book and a cup of hot chocolate.
Wake yourself up from your daydream only to note that you accidentally poured about a gallon of cut hair in the recycling bin. Note that it is already hopelessly mixed with the other occupants of the bin.

Note that you really ought to google “hair” to find out if it is recyclable.

Note that you have just enough time to make and drink a cup of hot chocolate whilst reading before it is time to start the afternoon round of taxi driving OR deal with the hair situation.

Grab a pan to start heating the milk for your chocolate (or, on a really good day, half and half). Note that you are a really bad citizen of the planet.

Note how you just can’t bring yourself to care.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 5, 2008 at Wednesday, November 05, 2008 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

18 wise, witty and wonderful comments

It must have been really good hot chocolate! You seemed to be in good spirits when I saw you.

November 5, 2008 at 12:45 PM

This was two weeks ago--can you actually remember Tuesday afternoon two weeks ago? I barely can (thank goodness I wrote this the day after).

November 5, 2008 at 12:53 PM

I noted everything.

Unfortunately, in order to keep all that hair IN a pillow, you would probably need a plastic pillow case, which would, very likely, take all the "dreaminess" out of the reading and drinking while lying on it.

November 5, 2008 at 12:57 PM

Good point, Lisa. Doesn't matter, it all went to be recycled two weeks ago. Oops!

November 5, 2008 at 12:58 PM

Hair IS recyclable, the birds use it to build their nests.

November 5, 2008 at 3:55 PM

I am sure you really have your hands full with your big guy. You are a saint, as is anyone who takes care of special needs folks.

November 5, 2008 at 4:30 PM

Mary is right. You can use hair in your garden. It keeps deer and rabbits away, but I am not sure if you have deer or rabbits there. If you have no garden (veggie), you can spread it on your grass and it will either decompose or the birds will take it away. I am not so sure about a hair pillow. That grosses me out a bit.

November 5, 2008 at 5:29 PM

Ok Googling recycled hair will have me laughing all night.

November 5, 2008 at 5:31 PM

Mary and Katie--thanks for the info about hair. Actually, the Victorians stuffed many a pillow with hair. They even had porcelain "hair receivers" for when they cleaned out their brush so the hair could be used for pillows or hair jewelry, something much nicer to google than recycled hair. But I'm glad I can make you laugh, Jen. :) Kazzy--thank you! That means a lot coming from someone who knows.

November 5, 2008 at 5:43 PM

I've noted that you're hilarious.

November 5, 2008 at 7:30 PM

Thanks Heather!

November 5, 2008 at 10:10 PM

Hair in pillows. Ew, that would not be a snugly pillow. But there are other ways to recycle hair I'm sure --- except I can't stop chuckling long enough to google "hair" :-)

November 5, 2008 at 10:52 PM

Heidi,
I think it is very cool that you cut your children's hair. I have done it ever since mine were old enough for hair cuts. It is the one time they were forced to converse with me for longer then 5 minutes and depending on what was going on in their life I could make it last as long as I needed. I know that the big guy probably wouldn't sit still for a 45 minute haircut but I had my best communication with my kids that way.
Roxanne

November 6, 2008 at 6:13 AM

Marivic, google is just a funny word, no matter what you're googling (another funny word). Roxanne--you are so right! Only, the Big Guy whines so loud the whole time that we don't get to talk much. He doesn't like being that close to a "woman"--it's uncomfortable for him. The Little Guy spends the whole time doing a countdown. "Okay, there are four parts to cutting my hair. This is the first part. Pretty soon we will be doing the second part. Okay, now this is the second part . . " and on and on ad naseum. I think he gets it from me. . ..

November 6, 2008 at 7:20 AM

~snicker snicker~ I'm bad for the planet too some days.

Oh, and your comment about the countdown! That's hilarious.

Cutting hair is one of those time that my kids get stuffed full of candy to keep them quiet!

(Word Verification. restem. Restem cowboy!)

November 6, 2008 at 8:27 AM

Eowyn, you crack me up! They do beg for suckers because the "proffs" do that, and I must say they are useful for collecting the bits of hair that always lands in ones mouth, but we don't have many around and my mouth tends to get the hairiest so I win! (The sucker, that is)

November 6, 2008 at 11:20 AM

You live a complicated life; that's for sure. Glad you have time to blog and to make this gorgeous page. :)

November 6, 2008 at 4:16 PM

Hey, at least you got the job done, and I really hope you did make that cup of hot chocolate and that you had half and half to boot, you deserve it!!
Love you!

November 10, 2008 at 4:13 PM

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