Where, exactly, is that Very Nice Resort? I'm asking for a friend....

I have no idea what you are talking about! I have never done any of these things you talk about. Nope, not remotely.

Bwwaahhhhaaa! Luisa--you crack me up! Kristina--not even one? Really? You said your blog is off for the week . .. .perhaps you are off visiting some kind of resort . ...

Number 19 is the whole reason I blog. I so love making fun of myself and others. Daily.

Oh yeah. I would love to go to a Very Nice Resort to hang out with other blog addicted people. Obviously you'll have wi-fi, right? Will you be serving drinks with little umbrellas in them?

Hey and sadly I was right with you, up to number 32. And my first reaction? Well that it would make a great post for you - obviously!

What??? There was a time when you weren't a big blogger!? Who knew! I consider my day a huge success when I am in the first 10 people to post comments on your blog. Today is a very good day for me. Usually I am number 30 or higher!

I was getting a little anxious just reading that! :)

Sorry about all the smells. That's the worst. :)

Congrats on the word count. My birthday is June 21, so I'm kind of thinking of the completion of Miss D Two as a birthday present. *Grin* (Of course, Prince William has the same birthday, so perhaps you're writing with him in mind?)

Also, congratulations on being featured on the Bloggernacle; at least you know you're being read!

Oh yeah, I know what you're talking about.

Your book arrived in my mailbox today - Hurrah! Now if only my daughter would nap so I could dive in.

This was really funny - and oh so true.

Do they have internet at this very nice resort? Do they? Do they? WELL? DO they? Not that I have a problem, because I don't. I just need a little vacation with people of similar interests.

i love the lowering the standards part. haha. i've SO done that.

and #40. is blogturity. when you blog 'cause you love it and you stop obsessing over the number of hits everyday and the number of comments on each post....

Sue--you and me, sister! Randi--you know I was just kidding about the resort, right? Right? B/C it could be fun to blog about but it isn't real. You get that, right? RIGHT? (just teasing you!) Joy--what I am is a blogger with really great and frequent commentors. I am sure I get less hits a day than one would imagine based on the # of comments I get. Love you guys!! Lisa, true, but it washes away! Who knew? Pam--What a great day to have a birthday--first day of summer! June 21st is my wedding anniversary. I thought it would be appropriate (but I would have picked it b/c it was your birthday if I only knew!) MomBabe, I knew you would! Christy--yay! I'm so excited to hear if you like it or not! Jami--heck no! That would be like having cocaine at wherever Lindsay Lohan dries out. No internet! But, hey, you make a good point--everyone there would totally get us, huh? It could be really fun. And who needs the internet when we have each other? (Though, I imagine the people in charge will have some kind of internet access and we can sneak down at night and try to find free wi-fi if only we could get past the guards.)

Heather--ummm, you totally lost me on the blogturity thing but I am looking forward to getting there (maybe).

A must read for all new bloggers. Hey - maybe you should write a book!

Seriously though - I think one of the best perspective enforcers is the statement, "Ask your Dad if he knows who Dooce is."

Personally - I think that writing a novel is far more exciting than being a famous blogger. Isn't that what bloggers think of as "the dream" - to write a book?

At the end of the day - the blogger community is like high school. And the happiest bloggers are the ones who are just happy with the friends they've made and the fun they have, regardless of how many hits they get.

It's really a very small pond.

Oh how I love you, even if you smell. This is hilarious, of course.

I agree with Kate-you're a published author, who cares about blog fame...right? RIGHT? RIGHT? :)

You're funny, Heids. =] You're a major big-shot in bloglandia.

Kate--I am as baffled by this as you seem to be but blogging is as big a deal (to me) as getting a book published. It has to do with the addictive quality of having people respond to your words ASAP. It is like crack to a writer. I am sure the book will have a much longer, healthier appeal for me in the end, though. Hey, I'm taking one day a week off of blogging to write another, so I guess that means something, eh? Heather--I love you too! So much! Laura--see, I am totally puzzled by that. I so am not! Really! Truly! Like I said before, almost everyone who comes to my blog comments on a daily basis (you guys rock!) which is a very high percentage. I don't get the number of hits one would think I get. But, I'm starting to be okay with that. Except on my paranoid-obsessive days which really don't happen as often as I make it sound--(though I could be lying about that.)

Truly hilarious. I will go in on that little resort. As long as there is a computer for everyone there. I wouldn't want to get behind on the google numbers. That would make a person relapse quickly.

Great job on the countdown to addiction. :0

Oh I'm so there with you, I mean like to the "T"!! (If thats even how you spell that..?) Atleast you can say it in a funny way instead of pathetic like how I feel, I need that resort like last month. :)

I was sooo LOL at number 20. I thought I was the only doing that...you know, the smell and all. Thanks for a good laugh Heidi.

Oh yeah, Yay on the number of words written for your next book and congratz on being featured on Bloggernacle.

Hey, I am one of those that think you are a "big" blogger. I wasn't smokin' anything at the time. Should I be? You always make me giggle. Who couldn't use a good laugh everyday. It makes me happy- and I need that!

Oh, my friend and I have started BA- Bloggers Anonymous. Although, it isn't so anonymous since it is just the 2 of us and we know each other really well. Love your list!

I think your post is very funny.

I could never be a big blogger. Too much pressure. It would make me nervous. But I have really enjoyed getting to know the few blogs who follow me and whom I follow.

What happened with your husband and his job? I've been wondering about that ever since you posted last Friday.

Jan--I would love to see you at my hip and fun spa resort! Melinda--it is the normal way to feel sometimes. Blogging is about connecting with other people and when you don't get readers or comments, there is less connecting. I know a lot of people say it is a "high school popularity contest" and maybe it is for some people--for me it is about the consumption of art. Bloggers are writers, designers, photographers, stand up comedians, scrapbookers--these are all art forms that are used in the creation of a blog. Art is meant to be consumed. If we don't have evidence that it is consumed, it is totally natural to feel let down. Sadly, blogging is also addictive and what was once a great amount of connecting doesn't cut the mustard anymore--one wants more! If you just want to have more followers than other people and more comments than other people so that you look "good" to other people, well, that's different. Julie--YOU? Heck no! I know you don't smoke any kind of junk! Heatherlyn--he didn't get laid off. Yay! Thanks for asking (I actually updated that post with a note at the bottom).

Why does this sound so familiar to me? Except for the whole part where more than 5 people actually read my blog. . . Maybe I'm not quite there yet. Gonna have to stop the whining. . .

I snorted out loud at number 20! I laugh at myself when I have the laundry stack up, dinner runs late and I jump up from the computer when people come in the door. It's almost like a guilty thing. Is that part of the addiction?

When are you going to stop stealing my thoughts? Can I be your roommate at the "resort" - we could start a chocolate contraband store in our room and make lots of money... hmmm

Hmmmm, got me thinking ------and that's hard to do ----get me thinking that is. I agree with you and will do a little tribute to this post on my blog. And yes, you are an awesome blogger, you don't need the chocolate.(too feel better, It's not like Napoleon, who told Deb she could drink whole milk if she wanted to cause she wasnt fat-----I no nothing about your weight) are you following me here.

What? I'm not the only one with a long to-do list that doesn't get touched because my "just 15 minutes" looking at blogs turns into hours? Good to know. Now I won't feel quite as bad while I'm doing it!

Super funny!

Rachel--you are a true blogger! And whining is part of the instructions, remember? Kazzy--I don't know if I am the right person to ask but I suspect it might be. :) Fiona--how could we lose? A bloggy friend and chocolate is a winning combination! Wendy--I am totally following you. And I'm a size ten. But that's not what I meant about the chocolate--I can see how easily that could be miscontrued. I really need to think things through a lot better before I post them!

Valerie--oops! How did I miss you? Thanks for visiting my blog and for the comment! Lurve that!

Yeah, I agree with Kristina. You're crazy. I've never done OR thought any of these. I don't have a problem and I can quit any time I want to. The fact that the baby is currently eating crackers off the floor has nothing to do with this discussion.

You are one serious blogger! And hilarious too :-)

If I didn't have a day job I probably would be an out of control blogger. Unfortunately it is not humanly possible to indulge in the blogging joys you listed and not get fired. I have to keep my day job because I don't think my blog will ever be a moneymaker. So it will just have to be my strenuous hobby.

Melanie--I have SO been there! Marivic--love that! strenuous hobby--hee hee!

I totally understand what you mean...it get so TIME consuming and addicting and I want to be big and cool and all that stuff, but I realize I don't have really ANYTHING to help people with

I don't cook...I do photography but wouldn't know HOW to help people understand it...to me it's a learn-by-mistake process...and WHO wants to know that?

And sorry about the bad review...that would be the HARD part of being a writer!

Ah your lists are always my favorite posts!

Shelle--I feel your pain. Jen--thanks! I always think of you when I write them!

Do you mean we'd be stuck passing notes back and forth to each other as we detox?

Seriously. What's up with big bloggers? What makes THEM so special?
I think I should make money just for showing up!
It is pretty awesome how there are so many funny people we never would meet otherwise (including present company!).

Jamie--yes. Too bad my hand writing is so crummy! Mariko--I am totally loving "meeting" the people, yes!

My blog wants to be just like Pioneer Woman's when it grows up!

Oh man, Dooce is so over-rated and foul mouthed. I checked her out a while back to see what all the hype was about, only to read a bunch of TMI about her family and how she and her husband went to San Francisco and got wasted and something about their drunken cab ride home. I thought 'this is what she's retired on?' Pulease! Then I went back and checked it again because I kept seeing her name pop up here and there, and thought maybe I was just missing the point. Maybe I caught her on a bad day. Barf! I didn't. Just more of the same...

You're much better off being a wannebe big blogger (although you're big in my book) than to be the next Dooce, if you have to be like her to achieve blog financial security - imo.

Next time, I'll tell you what I really think.

P.s. and why do people care about her freakin' dog?

Oh my goodness, Heidi! You had me laughing out loud so hard I nearly fell off the couch. #20 was my favorite.

I just love you! And I agree with nevedanista about Dooce. I saw Sue I think mention her and checked her out a couple of times. I don't get it either.

I know you weren't asking for an ego boost, but you are way funnier. Not many bloggers can actually make me laugh out loud.