My guest bloggist today is one that always makes me smile. Her posts are super upbeat, happy and cheerful. She has an understated sense of humor that I just love! Also, she is a total sweetheart. Absolute proof: she invited me to come spend the evening sitting on her couch and eating brownies together. The fact that she lives in Poland and can safely make such an offer without risk of being taken up on it diminishes her sweetness not one whit! If you don't already read Lisa of Away From It All on a regular basis, I suggest you do so ASAP!
The S Diet
(First I have to say that I love Heidi THIS much, just so everyone knows)
I have to lose weight and I have to do it soon. My bridesmaid dress WILL fit in June. I'm determined. So I have a plan.
I will follow the S Diet. This diet has been proven to cause the droppage of seven or more pounds in 2 weeks. It is 100% effective every single time. I know this because I tried it once and it worked (that's the diet working 100% of the time it is followed, for those who are not good with numbers).
I plan to follow the S Diet for two weeks at which point I will be 7 pounds lighter. After that I can go back to my regular bad eating habits because I won't gain any of the weight back anyway, because of the stuck-at-a-certain-weight-whether-I "watch what I eat" or "cut back on sweets" or-even "give up and pig out" phenomenon. (this is a cousin to the phenomenon where your kid always ends up walking 2 feet behind you. It's not because he's slow - he's going the same pace as you, it's just that he is stuck at 2 feet behind you.)
So what is this mystery diet? I won't pretend that I came up with it on my own, but I will pretend that I made the name up myself. Or I won't pretend because I actually did. I'll reveal the significance of the "S" in a minute, but first, here's how it works:
For the full two weeks you eat half of what you normally would.
That's the diet.
I also add to that (or added, since I did it once) drinking water in place of juice/soda, losing the butter or mayo on sandwiches and eating less than half of a normal dinner, but tripling the veggie intake to make my body think it's full of good food, when really, it's only full of veggies mostly.
That's it. Now where does the name come from? I'm sure many of you have already guessed that the "S" comes from the third letter in my name, Lisa, as it's sort of like the middle letter, and middles of things are significant. If you guessed that, I am so sorry to tell you you are WRONG.
S stands for starvation, as anyone who's been on this diet would know.
I'll let you all know how it went in a couple of weeks.
Fine Print for the purpose of making this diet look official:
If you try the diet and it works for you, please send a check or money order to someone. Maybe like when you are paying bills. You can send a check to the phone company for the amount of your phone bill or something.
(Heidi here again: There's a rumor that I am being interviewed over at Books Are Life Reviews. Miss Delacourt Speaks Her Mind is/will be reviewed at some point which could be interesting since I have no idea whether or not this reviewer liked it!)