The S Diet  

Posted by Heidi in

My guest bloggist today is one that always makes me smile. Her posts are super upbeat, happy and cheerful. She has an understated sense of humor that I just love! Also, she is a total sweetheart. Absolute proof: she invited me to come spend the evening sitting on her couch and eating brownies together. The fact that she lives in Poland and can safely make such an offer without risk of being taken up on it diminishes her sweetness not one whit! If you don't already read Lisa of Away From It All on a regular basis, I suggest you do so ASAP!

The S Diet

(First I have to say that I love Heidi THIS much, just so everyone knows)

I have to lose weight and I have to do it soon. My bridesmaid dress WILL fit in June. I'm determined. So I have a plan.

I will follow the S Diet. This diet has been proven to cause the droppage of seven or more pounds in 2 weeks. It is 100% effective every single time. I know this because I tried it once and it worked (that's the diet working 100% of the time it is followed, for those who are not good with numbers).

I plan to follow the S Diet for two weeks at which point I will be 7 pounds lighter. After that I can go back to my regular bad eating habits because I won't gain any of the weight back anyway, because of the stuck-at-a-certain-weight-whether-I "watch what I eat" or "cut back on sweets" or-even "give up and pig out" phenomenon. (this is a cousin to the phenomenon where your kid always ends up walking 2 feet behind you. It's not because he's slow - he's going the same pace as you, it's just that he is stuck at 2 feet behind you.)

So what is this mystery diet? I won't pretend that I came up with it on my own, but I will pretend that I made the name up myself. Or I won't pretend because I actually did. I'll reveal the significance of the "S" in a minute, but first, here's how it works:

For the full two weeks you eat half of what you normally would.

That's the diet.

I also add to that (or added, since I did it once) drinking water in place of juice/soda, losing the butter or mayo on sandwiches and eating less than half of a normal dinner, but tripling the veggie intake to make my body think it's full of good food, when really, it's only full of veggies mostly.

That's it. Now where does the name come from? I'm sure many of you have already guessed that the "S" comes from the third letter in my name, Lisa, as it's sort of like the middle letter, and middles of things are significant. If you guessed that, I am so sorry to tell you you are WRONG.

S stands for starvation, as anyone who's been on this diet would know.

I'll let you all know how it went in a couple of weeks.

Fine Print for the purpose of making this diet look official:
If you try the diet and it works for you, please send a check or money order to someone. Maybe like when you are paying bills. You can send a check to the phone company for the amount of your phone bill or something.

(Heidi here again: There's a rumor that I am being interviewed over at Books Are Life Reviews. Miss Delacourt Speaks Her Mind is/will be reviewed at some point which could be interesting since I have no idea whether or not this reviewer liked it!)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 at Wednesday, April 15, 2009 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

26 wise, witty and wonderful comments

That's it. I'm going on the S diet starting immediately.

Look for your check in two weeks, Lisa. Maybe Heidi can get some royalties, since it's actually posted on her blog.

April 15, 2009 at 11:14 PM

Dude! I'm DOWN with that diet. Especially the veggies part where my stomach only thinks it's full. ;) I'm glad to know that I was wrong about the name too!

The phone bill thanks you! =]

April 15, 2009 at 11:17 PM

It sounds pretty solid, as diets go. I will follow it with the same dedication with which I approach all diets (i.e. not at all...)

April 15, 2009 at 11:32 PM

If I did this I'm sure my husband would leave me because when I'm hungry I'm not at all pleasant to be around. Two weeks of unpleasantness is two weeks too many. But good luck to you! Funny post!

April 16, 2009 at 4:59 AM

I almost started this very diet yesterday - but then I realized that the first step is to overindulge in all of the leftover Easter Candy laying around the house!

April 16, 2009 at 6:39 AM

and today my excuse is that I can't start a diet when we're making yummy treats for a pamp. chef party tonight...

Tomorrow? umm, isn't it bad luck to start a diet on a Friday?

April 16, 2009 at 6:50 AM

Lisa, I've been "missing" you lately, but I can see you've been very busy doing scientific, nutritionally based research. I'm on a new diet too. It's called the "stop eating chocolate chips every time you walk through your kitchen diet." So far so good. Of course, on your plan, I could probably just do it half the time. Good luck on yours. Maybe we could co-author a diet book. I'm sure it would be a smashing success.

April 16, 2009 at 6:52 AM

love it!

April 16, 2009 at 7:40 AM

Oh, THAT explains the two feet behind me thing. I was wondering.

April 16, 2009 at 8:01 AM

Wait, now does that include half my Easter candy?

April 16, 2009 at 8:22 AM

Such brilliance! I myself could never have thought of such an thing.

April 16, 2009 at 8:35 AM

This totally made me laugh. The starvation diet. What a concept!

April 16, 2009 at 8:35 AM

I really should try this, though, like Steph@diapers, I'd have to figure out how to remember which times I get to eat those choc. chips when I'm in the kitchen!

I guess that's my question: how do you determine what is half of snacking all day? I already say in my head "I want some choc chips, but no, I shouldn't eat any." and then I have some like 5 minutes later. So isn't that half the time saying no and half the time yes?

April 16, 2009 at 8:36 AM

oh, and Heidi, I'm excited to see that I can get your book from a library here, how official is that? Of course you'd rather have everyone buying it, I'm sure...

April 16, 2009 at 8:38 AM

I think you have the S diet confused with the T diet. Because any diet at all is Torture for me. I just hate not eating.

I also hate exercising. I'm pretty much a lost cause.

April 16, 2009 at 10:13 AM

I should so try dress for the big do already fits, but I'd like it to fit more...nicely...yes...

April 16, 2009 at 10:32 AM

I just ate an entire Hot Pocket thingy while I read your post. Dang it. I will start another time. :)

April 16, 2009 at 11:47 AM

The S Diet. Will my stomach constantly be growling? Is that a side effect? Good luck dear!

April 16, 2009 at 12:48 PM

Heidi--I have enjoyed being introduced to so many new (to me) bloggers. I hope you are enjoying your vacation from blogging and having a good time with your kids. I look forward to reading your postings when you return. I am sure you will have a great story to tell!

April 16, 2009 at 5:16 PM

Can I still pretend that the S is for the third letter in Lisa? Because starvation just sounds so, you know, harsh. Not like those other diets out there, which are totally user-friendly. (Cough, Atkins, cough.)

April 16, 2009 at 5:22 PM

Oh Lisa, you are so cute. When I saw the Stovetop ad next to your post I thought the S diet was to eat all the stove top you could eat.

April 16, 2009 at 5:26 PM

So funny! And I SO need to go on the fabulous S Diet.

April 16, 2009 at 5:42 PM

I had a feeling... I need to go on that diet. Probably won't though; I prefer that G diet (as in Gorge), unfortunately.

April 16, 2009 at 6:35 PM

i'm ready for the S diet!!!!

April 16, 2009 at 8:09 PM

HAHA! Actually, that really is the healthiest way to lose weight, especially if you keep loading on the fruits and veggies! Sorry for the hunger pains! Hope you look gorgeous in your dress!

April 16, 2009 at 9:01 PM

This is hilarious.

I think I won't follow it. What I'm doing now is working just fine!

April 18, 2009 at 10:05 PM

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