“Why do moms and dads love each other more than their kids,” my six year old asked out of the blue last night.
My first thought was “At last! Proof that I am doing something right!”
My second thought was, “How do I answer that question?”
My third thought was a memory of me asking my mom (at about the same age) if she loved my daddy more than she loved me. I could tell by her expression that I wasn’t going to like the answer but all she said was that “It was different, the way I love him and the way I love you.” Of course, as a wife and mother I understand that remark in spades but at the time it stung a little because I just knew the truth was worse than that. She really did love him more than me, an idea which was completely incomprehensible to me and seemed pretty much totally unfair, as well.
My fourth thought was, “If the truth will hurt him the way it hurt me, than maybe I am wrong to feel the way I do.”
So, what I said was, “I love him differently than the way I love you but it is true that I will be with him for always the way you are meant to be with your wife for always and your kids will be with their wives or husbands for always. So, everybody will be okay.”
My fifth thought was, “Well, if that answer doesn’t put him into therapy, there are plenty of other experiences, happenings, events, and things said to him that will.”
The point I am trying to make here, and it’s a good one, is that it is never too late (or too soon) to start saving for a good therapist.
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2 wise, witty and wonderful comments
They say that the best thing you can do for a child is to love your spouse--we talked about that, too, how awful it would be if the little guys dad and I didn't love each other. I'm not sure if he still wouldn't want to be first in my affections, tho. I guess he'll just have to get over it. :)
August 8, 2008 at 2:38 PM
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