"My Kitchen, A Literal House of Horror", or, "Baking Can Kill You"  

Posted by Heidi in ,

It was time to say goodbye to Colorado.

Goodbye cute little house with the wide front porch!

Goodbye fairly new carpet we paid to have installed!

Goodbye sweet vintage neighborhood in the heart of town!

Wait! Rewind back to the day or so before when a good friend brought us a plate of cookies. Ah! These cookies! They were gorgeous heart-shaped affairs, frosted in pastel colors and finished off with white dots around the edge. Tasting one was an entirely different affair, not a jaded affaire de coeur, an affair of the taste buds. I had never met cookies like these and they made me want to set up housekeeping together. They were not the crisp, crunchy sugar cookies of my Christmas-youth but thick, soft, mouth-watering delights that crumbled obligingly against my teeth and filled my mouth with rich, creamy flavor.

As soon as the internet was connected in our new home (old home, sorta, but that’s another story, perhaps one left untold in order to protect the innocent, as well as the guilty) I emailed my friend “Wendy” (actually, her name really was Wendy) to beg her for the recipe. To my delight, she quickly obliged.

Being that it was pretty much Thanksgiving and we had a week’s worth of work ahead of us divesting the new/old house of junk, ripping up carpets and painting over the mold on the walls, I didn’t get around to whipping up a batch of these cookies until Christmas (I thought about them a lot in between, though). Since then, these soft sugar cookies (the secret ingredient is cream cheese) have been a Christmas staple at our house and around our neighborhood. (Whether they want them or not) (Because I always double the recipe) (And we just can’t eat ‘em all).

Fast forward to yesterday. I had signed up to bring two dozen homemade cookies to the Linger Longer after church (today). Instead of choosing to make my chocolate chip specials (pictured below), a cookie I worked at weekly for three years in the quest to find perfection (but also so that we would have fresh baked homemade chocolate chip cookies available at all times) I chose to make the cream cheese sugar cookies. Why? ‘Cause I was in an obsessive state (just so you know, that’s all behind me now, thank goodness—at least for four weeks, anyway) and had, HAD, HAD to make something that resembled the beautifully frosted goodies that are pictured at the top of this post.

Naturally, I ran into problems.

Problem #1: I couldn’t find my recipe so chose one off of the internet that looked like it was close. (It had twice the amount of cream cheese in the frosting than was needful.)
Problem #2: It was roughly 100 degrees yesterday, 110 the day before that, and my house was hot
Problem #3: I used cream cheese frosting instead of royal icing to make my white dots. Sad.
Problem #4: Apparently the cream cheese went “off” (I thought it tasted a trifle sour) and we all woke up this morning with stomach pain and the other usual consequences of food gone bad.

(My Seriously So Sad cookies)
Needless to say, my cookies didn't make it to the Linger Longer today. Neither did we. Oops! Meanwhile, I have three dozen cookies, going cheap! Any takers? Any? Anyone? No?

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 31, 2008 at Sunday, August 31, 2008 and is filed under , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

11 wise, witty and wonderful comments

CCOOOOOKKKKKKKIIIIIEEEEESSSSSS!!! LOL YUMMY! Doesn't matter how they look as long as they get eaten.

Coming from the Blog Trip.
www.momdot.com more than just moms.

August 31, 2008 at 7:51 PM

Your pictures are making me hungry! I'm excited about seeing all these new blogs on the blog trip! Thanks for stopping by mine. I have a feeling I'm going to be spending lots of time on the web this week...

August 31, 2008 at 8:29 PM

Awww Death By Cookie. But they look sooo good, I'd probably eat them anyway.

Thanks so much for stopping by, and I wanted to check your's out in return. I am very excited to have discovered it. You write amazingly well (might be why you are getting published perhaps?) and are fresh and funny and I will definately be making return visits.


August 31, 2008 at 9:00 PM

Ok I should not have read this post when I was already craving a dessert! I am now cookie obsessed and will have to scrounge up some ingredients tonight to bake something!

August 31, 2008 at 9:47 PM

stopping by for my blog trip.
thanks for dropping by. lupusurvivor.com

August 31, 2008 at 10:31 PM

Gosh, sorry to cause a cookie obsession . . . that's not fun. :D

August 31, 2008 at 10:50 PM

The cookies look great. My bakes do not turn out looking as good as I expect them to..nevertheless I feel that taste is more important then looks :)
Stopping by on the blog trip.

September 1, 2008 at 6:29 AM

Those cookies look yummy. I have a great sugar cookie recipe that calls for sour cream, not cream cheese. I LOVE them. I think I might have to bake some today.

September 1, 2008 at 10:10 AM

Hnmmm, Jessica, I just might need to have that recipe . . .Did you get it from your mom? She's the best baker, cook, ever!

September 1, 2008 at 10:20 AM

wow thay are realy nice

September 1, 2008 at 10:32 AM

Okay, I am totally salivating over those pictures! Too bad they went sour! I hope you and your family feel better!

September 1, 2008 at 10:52 AM

Post a Comment