Charity Auction Today At Dunhaven Place  

Posted by Heidi in


(I’m putting the Little Guy up for auction today. If any of you have sweet daughters approximately 5-7 years of age, please consider bidding on this valuable commodity).

Up for auction for your consideration today is one seven year old boy.

Physical description: good looking with big blue eyes and dark hair which promises to only get darker as he matures. He’s a tad skinny but that promises to correct itself in future as well.

Intelligence & future income producing potential: So far he has been getting 100% on 99% of his math work pages from the first grade workbook, plus he can read and write. Need I say more?

Disposition: He has his moments however they are few and far between and like most Ashworth’s, (meaning one must eliminate the Big Guy from the equation) i.e. he tends to be a teddy bear as long as he has had enough sleep and good things to eat.

Thumbnail sketch: This morning I am once again sick with a horrifying sinus infection that started with exposure to a very minor cold. So far the Little Guy has gone shopping with The Spouse to get more Puffs tissues (there can never be enough Puffs) and other supplies such as un-expired Chloraseptic (the expired stuff did little to alleviate my suffering last night—yes, S, you are always right!) throat lozenges and a variety of homeopathic remedies (my doctor won’t even see me until the suffering has been intense and, more to the point, agonizingly long). When he got home, he pulled each thing from the bag with a flourish and handed them to me. Then, when he saw that my lap was a tad full (The Spouse was thinking ahead and bought four boxes of Puffs, bless his heart!) he reclaimed each item and arranged them on a nearby table for easy access. He then, with absolutely no prompting from anyone, ran off to the kitchen to fetch me a drink of water.

Some time later when he saw that I had shuffled over to the computer to read my email, he brought the box of tissues and glass of water to my new location, then dragged a large and heavy blanket (I thought he might capsize—the Little Guy is little, even for his age) and placed it gently on my lap and around my legs.

If you should be the lucky winner of this auction, please note that he will not be available until at least twenty-three years of age (unless he goes to medical school in which case your daughter will have to wait until he gets through his internship) and will be subject to loan whenever mommy wants him. (yoo-hoo! hee hee) The bidding starts at one hundred million in pure gold bullion.

This entry was posted on Saturday, October 11, 2008 at Saturday, October 11, 2008 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

13 wise, witty and wonderful comments

Nothing like a sweet little boy. I usually attribute my boys' wonderfulness to the great example of my husband. You making any of those assumptions too? If I had a girl I might consider bidding!

October 11, 2008 at 2:48 PM

Oh, yes, his daddy is one of those guys who isn't afraid to be in touch with his feminine side i.e. he's a great nurturer--which is one reason why he is such a great school teacher.

October 11, 2008 at 3:08 PM

100 million in pure gold? Good thing I have a gold mine in my back yard. My daughter is a little young for him though, is that ok?

October 11, 2008 at 3:20 PM

I have never wanted a daughter more in my life.
Can I marry him?

October 11, 2008 at 6:42 PM

You guys make me laugh! Who knows, maybe he will be the cradle robber type and that's fine by me. Heather, so now you have motivation to have another one--too bad you can't guarantee it will be a girl . . .tho your boys are adorable!

October 11, 2008 at 8:57 PM

What a sweetie! I've got just the gal for him. Six years old. Makes amazingly creative impromptu sculptures. Beautiful eyes. Loves the snuggles.

About the gold...would you be willing to accept chocolate instead?

October 11, 2008 at 10:21 PM

Hoo wee! Chocolate--Yes! Why didn't I think of that?

October 12, 2008 at 8:36 AM

I really do think in this day and age arranged marriages are the thing. I mean, who knows best but mom? So, here is my offer. 7 year old, blue eyes (keep the genes going), pretty girly but I catch her playing hot wheels every now and then. I told her she can not marry until she finishes college, so a five to six year plan post HS graduation is fine by me. Mission is also a possibility. Let's say, if both are single, then we force them to get married at about 28.

October 12, 2008 at 10:34 AM

I like the hot wheels thing--it will balance out the ultra sensitivity on the part of the Little Guy. It could work. Don't lose my email addy. ;)

October 12, 2008 at 2:35 PM

Oh if I had a daughter that age. . .

October 12, 2008 at 4:20 PM

How about younger women? My niece is 3 and we'd love to have Little Guy in the family!

October 13, 2008 at 7:36 PM

Sure, bring her on! That isn't too big of an age difference in my book. We could be "connections" as they say in all the Jane Austen movies. Then I can go around saying things like, "This is Jen Lauricella, she is one of my relations, a connection, don't you know?" (Must be said with a snooty English accent)

October 13, 2008 at 7:46 PM

Ooooh pick me, pick me!! I have someone the Little Guy already knows & is in class with! ;) She's got beautiful brown eyes, and has long lashes just like LG. She's also on the petite side...just the perfect size for LG!! ;) hee hee

October 22, 2008 at 1:45 PM

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