Quit With The Thumb Screws--I'm Confessing, Already!!  

Posted by Heidi in

Things about which I feel the need to confess:

I’m sick.

I got it from Alyson at New England Living

Via Facebook.

She freely admits it (go ask her).

I hate that my book is so expensive.

It makes me worried that people won’t get enough bang for their buck.

I am not very into Christmas this year.

In a way I’m kind of relieved.

Which makes me evil.

Then again, perhaps not.

Having a book giveaway is oodles of fun!

Selling stuff on eBay for money is fun, too!
Going to the post office two weeks before Christmas to mail stuff is the pits.

I’m losing my mind.

The part of my mind that should be concerned about losing my mind; gone. (“I’m melting … gone, gone, all is lost.”)

I still haven’t read Breaking Dawn.

It makes me worry there is something wrong with me (reading just Twilight and then going “meh” is understandable, reading Twilight and New Dawn and then going “meh” is even more understandable, reading none of them is perfectly respectable, but who reads all three, puts Breaking Dawn at the top of her TBR list and then just stares at it?)

I wanted to rig the drawing for and behalf of those who live outside the U.S. and can’t get my book or have to pay too much for it as well as those who have been super kind to me or are having a really hard time in their lives right now. Like her and her and her and her or her or her. (There's others but they either already have it or read it or know where to borrow a copy.)

But I didn’t.

I had a funny feeling Sue Q would win because she entered at the very last second and life is ironic that way (she did).
Now that I know how to do links, I am having way too much fun with it.
Linking takes way to long to do so I kind of hate it.
I’m seriously considering cutting down on my blogging.

Er, next year.

But I’m so addicted.

Because of it, I only just bought my kids their Christmas presents.

Via the computer, of course.

Because my rear is kind of permanently attached to my computer chair.

And it’s changing the shape of my body.

It’s all going south, if you know what I mean.

In a way I’m kind of relieved.

Because, why diet or exercise when it’s clearly useless?

This morning, in order to get a shower in before the repairmen turned off the water to fix something that’s broken, I had to skip my exercises and left last night’s dinner dishes moldering in the sink.

I’m not losing any sleep over it, either.

I’m a “comment whore” (harsh but true)

I’m the queen of Shabby Chic but my bedroom is high Victorian (so be warned when I post some very un-shabby-chic-like Christmas décor pics)

I think I’m a teensy weensy bit depressed.

Which is wrong considering everything there is to be happy about.

I’m hoping it is just because I am sick and tired and most likely a bit hormonal.

As usual.

I feel bad about using the follower function as a means to enter my book giveaway.

I only did it to make myself look popular.

(did it work?)

And to feed my insatiable ego.

I only shower every other day (I thought you all should know that.)

And, might I add, what a relief to get it off my chest.

I still don’t know what I am giving my beloved parents and siblings for Christmas this year.

I’m feeling a bit anxious about it.

My 14 year old fake Christmas tree is leaning at a precarious angle.

I’m just sick about it but too tired to re-do the whole dang thing.

One year my (real) Christmas tree fell flat on it’s face.

Right when half the ward (members of church congregation) was coming over for a house tour.

They helped me fix it but the next day, I took everything off and re-did it right.

(I’m a real control freak that way.)

I used to have a rule that I couldn’t put up another post until I had a certain number of hits since the last one.

I don’t anymore.

Yesterday when I implied today’s post would be short?--I lied.

And the part where I say I’m cutting down on my blogging in the new year?

Lying through my teeth.

I think I might need therapy.

And I’m okay with that.

While attempting to get this post up I accidentally shut off the computer.


(No computers were killed or injured in the course of attempting to put up this (@#$%^) post.)

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 11, 2008 at Thursday, December 11, 2008 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

32 wise, witty and wonderful comments



Breathe, girl!! Just keep breathing!! I think you should treat yourself to a Swedish massage or something. Get your ying back in the right orbit!

Links are indeed fun, and now that I know the secret to winning giveaways, I'm going to be stalking all the giveaway blogs I can find like an ebay freak and post my comments with seven seconds to go before the time runs out!

December 11, 2008 at 11:38 AM

Um gross, you only shower every other day? I can no longer read your blog.
I'm such a control freak that I would take out all the laundry after Billy would fold it and put it all away and refold it all.
He'd be like: "Um, did you just redo the laundry this morning?" Because he folds towels really stupidly. So he would know. Plus, he doesn't color coordinate is clothes when hanging them in the closet and hangs the hangers in backwards... yeah... I'm not complaining, just pointing out why he shouldn't do the laundry EVER.

Oh and I've never been linked to before so thank you! And also for the comments that I'm sure applied to me too... :) You are sweet and if you ever cut down on your blogging, I'm going to be very very sad for a really long time.

December 11, 2008 at 11:39 AM

booo I took to long, I thought I was going to be first :(

December 11, 2008 at 11:40 AM

Sue--you were actually nine whole minutes late but who's counting? Abra--I also color coordinate my clothes when hanging them in the closet. Is there any other way? (Thanks for the sweet thoughts and wanting to be first--it makes me feel almost famous.)

December 11, 2008 at 11:52 AM

Sue (again) now I have to go back and read my post--did I really sound that awful?

December 11, 2008 at 11:52 AM

I'm really considering beginning a blog or a facebook group for those of us addicts who would rather blog than eat... wait - I usually end up eating something and blogging at the same time.

Somehow I don't think the 12-step process will work for me if it requires logging in :)

December 11, 2008 at 12:50 PM

I absolve you of all of it. And I must confess that I once declared (jokingly, of course) that I would deny the church for a box of Lindt truffles!

I also absolve you of all of the above guilt for filling the pages of Miss D with untold amounts of witty delight. That makes up for everything.

December 11, 2008 at 12:55 PM

I liked the Twilight series. Liked, not loved. But I have tried to read Breaking Dawn twice and absolutely couldn't get into it. There is only so much time to neglect my children in a day, and I don't want to spend it reading a boring book!

I think I love you a little more now for being yourself on this post.

December 11, 2008 at 2:19 PM

I love the train of thought (or lack thereof:) ) on this post. Sometimes it's almost theraputic to just have "thought vomit" and get it all out of your head. Right?

December 11, 2008 at 2:42 PM

So in other words you're normal? Thanks for the best laugh I have had all day!

December 11, 2008 at 2:45 PM

My kids always know when I am reading your blog because I LOL! I think if these are your worst character flaws you still have plenty of room left in your allotment.

LOVED the "comment whore" remark, even if I felt dirty laughing at it!

And I still haven't read Breaking Dawn yet either, so we are even.

December 11, 2008 at 3:00 PM


December 11, 2008 at 3:06 PM

Sorry about passing along that bug via FB! I wonder why they added that as a feature on their site. I wanted to try it out and experimented on you. Sorry! That was crazy of me! You so didn't need that right now. Maybe I was being passive-aggressive because I didn't win a book. I will buy one though. Just as soon as I get me some Christmas moola!

I really loved this post! You rock, sister-friend! Oh, I guess I could call you cousin since we are both Alden broads.

December 11, 2008 at 3:52 PM

T--I'm guessing the only thing more addictive than eating whilst blogging is if you add crack to the equation (just guessing, mind you!) Jana--bless your heart! I had better get busy with another book because I feel the need for more absolving (absolvutions?) coming on, Erin, you warmed the cockles of my heart! Barb--good analogy but can I just say Erghhh!
Becky, Kazzy and Annette--THANK YOU for laughing (I emailed my husband at work & asked him to read today's blog and if it sounded like I wanted to hang myself--he said Yes--I guess not everyone gets my humor. We've only been married 23 years. Oh well. And he wonders why I want to hang out with you guys all of the time. Sorry, honey, if you're reading this. And if you are--get back to work! Or come home! One or the other!) Alyson--what can I say--you are just getting so clever in your illness one can only wonder if being sick for life might not be such a bad thing. You old Alden broad, you!! (Hey, Honey, you can leave that old piece of rope out in the garage after all!)

December 11, 2008 at 4:09 PM

Heidi you are so funny! That was an entertaining list to read!

December 11, 2008 at 4:22 PM

okay that is just funny ( you told me to laugh!)

you shared so much I can't remember what I was going to say. bahhhhh

something about.... what was it? what was it?

Oh! Christms spirit, neither am I LOL and I am happier that I am not doing anything LOL

December 11, 2008 at 5:27 PM

Hmmmm, I understand that a one sentence paragraph shows poor writing skills. Hee Hee.

See, I used two sentences in the above paragraph. Also in this one.

Your my kind of girl. Shower every other day. Saves water, saves heating energy. GO GREEN!!!

unprost......I'm unprotesting everything. I'm hungry now.

December 11, 2008 at 5:29 PM

Yes, Arlon, I credit my lackluster hygeine to the fact that my parents are depression era folk. People just didn't shower or bathe all the time back then--my mom still doesn't. My dad does but only because he loves it. My mom and I (and woe is me, my kids) really don't much like getting wet. Stacey and Randi--thanks for laughing. My original subtitle was: "things I should maybe tell my bishop" but then I realized things were being taken the wrong way so I changed it to what you see now. Hey, you can always ask, right?

December 11, 2008 at 5:57 PM

Even if I didn't have a calander I'm pretty sure I'd know that Christmas is about two weeks away, bloggers are starting to get a wee bit desperate.
I'm pretty sure we'll all survive.

December 11, 2008 at 7:59 PM

You crack me up with your ability to say what everyone else is thinking anyway. :)

December 11, 2008 at 8:12 PM

Hee hee very funny! I love random wandering thoughts.

And I love short paragraphs on blogs. And starting sentences with the word "and". Also the word "but". But starting sentences with "and" is probably more frequent.

So I think maybe I should go to bed soon.


December 11, 2008 at 8:44 PM

alison, so glad to know it's not just me! Lara--thank you! Really! That means a lot! Funny Farmer--well, we all know I DO know how to punctuate and write a correct sentence (even two in one paragraph) because, you know, BOOK and all, but I like to be a bit more cutting edge on my blog. Risky, I know . . .

December 11, 2008 at 8:49 PM

Well that all just came spilling out as if you've spent the evening watching sappy Christmas movies.
And eating lots and lots of fudge, to get the amazing balance of sad mood combined with sugar high.

Thanks for thinking about me in your drawing!! You know I'll buy the book anyway, so I'm kinda glad someone else got the benefit!

December 11, 2008 at 9:07 PM

I laughed. We're all good, right?

I only shower ever other day too. I live somewhere very dry, if I did it more often I'd shrivel up, I think.

Love the honesty babe. Keeps us giggling and makes us feel like we're not the only loonies out there.

December 11, 2008 at 9:21 PM

Okay, so I'm catching up again, and I really could have gone on with my life without knowing that I was nine minutes late. Now I feel like it WAS rigged, or that I shouldn't be the winner, and I can't even drown my sorrows in chocolate for 20 whole days.

Oh, well. I've got some caramels nearby that will have to do.

And I'm sure that your venting was completely therapeutic. I read once that JKRowling completely fell apart after publishing her first book because she was so worried that it wouldn't sell or people wouldn't get it, and I was worried for a MOMENT that you might be creeping a little too close to that precipice. But don't worry, because you're going to wipe Rowling off the map with your baby!!

December 11, 2008 at 10:11 PM

I need to meet you. That's all there is to it.

Unfortunately, I'm perfectly serious about the fact that I'm a grinch this year. My tree isn't even up yet!

So you can be glad that yours is up, even if it's hanging at a precarious angle.

December 12, 2008 at 5:49 AM

Randi, that's sweet! Thanks! Kim, so that means, when they are chasing down with torches the shower-less, we can run next to each other? Yay! Sue Q--sorry that I filled you in on the 9 minutes late thing--maybe my clock is off from yours. Let's just say you had 11 seconds left to go when you started typing. Yah. That works. Eowyn, I would love to meet! We could be grinch's together.

December 12, 2008 at 9:38 AM

Holy cow Heidi, You certainly are entertaining with your stream of consciousness. I think I now need a nap! It is good to get things off your chest isn't it. Glad to know that your tree is upright and secure and that the ward is taking advantage of having such a fashion maven in their midst. I love your house and your decorating sense. Wish that were genetic.

December 13, 2008 at 9:14 AM

You are funny when you post, and you are funny when you just riff.

Give your beloved parents and siblings signed copies of your book.

You sound like you're getting too much done to me. Go lie down.

December 13, 2008 at 9:32 PM

Roxanne, thanks--I needed that! Nouveau, how I wish you would change your name! I have to think too hard to spell it (and I took French for years--maybe I do need to lie down!).

December 14, 2008 at 8:11 AM

I love when you do one of your hilarious lists! I'm reading it late and it made my Sunday night! Much more interesting than planning crafts for the school holiday party (especially because I'm soooooo not crafty).

December 14, 2008 at 8:41 PM

Thanks Jen, I knew you would get it. However, Roy thought I sounded like I was ready to hang myself. So much for knowing your spouse, eh?

December 14, 2008 at 10:05 PM

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