Wherein I Confess To The Truth Of All Things  

Posted by Heidi in ,

I am consumed with guilt which is why I was sitting in church yesterday full of woe and repentance and fearfully feeling the consumption of it all until I lifted my chin, straightened my shoulders and put them firmly to the wheel, full of righteous determination to confess once and for all that I never intended to, in any way shape or form, imply that I, Heidi Ashworth, has one thing to do with Vogue magazine. ‘Tis a heinous thought. Not the idea of being in Vogue! (though Style Magazine hits me better). No, what I find heinous is the fear that someone might have reason to accuse me of criminal bloggy intent (again).

Therefore, I need to confess the truth about the Vogue reference. First, I did not make it up. I really did greet the morn with those words ringing in my ears. In fact, this morning, I was greeted by these words said in the most dulcet of tones: (proceeded by sweet birdsong) “Good Morning Madame. Your physician rang. He wishes to inform you it necessary that you go out and buy a new wardrobe comprised entirely of shoes. If you do not follow this course of action, he cannot answer for the consequences. Very good Madame."


You can imagine the spring in my step when I rolled out of bed today!

And, no, The Spouse has not turned butler on me. In fact, there is only one butler worth having and HE is it. Fortunately, we can all have HIM for butler due to this clever invention. I highly recommend it.

Meanwhile, it is a new year and I am going to do my darnedest to make an attempt/take a stab at striving for my goals. In that light, I will be taking every Tuesday off from blogging. Entirely. As in, no posting, no reading. This saddens me but a new novel must be written. I will also be taking the day off from doing dishes (The Middle Child has yet to learn of her role in this new development) and making dinner—thank goodness The Spouse is on board with this one. I will spend all day long writing whilst eating high quality chocolate and though this will make my weight loss goals a bit harder to achieve, I hope it will result in a book worth its weight in, umm, er, my peresistent poundage. Priorities, people, priorities.


I might also have made a promise that I would be blogging less when The Spouse is home (read: late afternoons, evenings, night and weekends) in exchange for his cooperation in the novel writing thing. (Might have. Not sure. Still looking for loopholes in this one.) This means I might not show up on time at your blog BUT never fear, I will read all (eventually) even if it means that my comments are sadly below par due to the fact that everyone else will have most likely gotten there before me and will have already said anything worth saying. Somebody please hold me.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 5, 2009 at Monday, January 05, 2009 and is filed under , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

37 wise, witty and wonderful comments

ROFL
Yah, I promised to cut my blogging time down but have broken every single commandment set for myself. Good luck!

January 5, 2009 at 11:28 AM

Good luck on cutting down blogging! I completely understand.

January 5, 2009 at 11:29 AM

GREAT idea about having a kid cook dinner once a week so you can write more. DING! Why didn't I think of that?! I think I might have to steal that. All in the name of raising self-sufficient adults, right? The fact that I'll get in a bigger word count is a side benefit. Or something. :D

January 5, 2009 at 11:36 AM

Dearest Cuz,
I am so glad for you that you have made a resolution to limit the blogging. While I find it terribly enjoyable both reading and writing, I also have learned to appreciate it more when I do not feel the guilt and remorse of not posting on a regular (or even semi-regular) basis. It will make all your 'gems' just that much more valuable to us.
Roxanne

January 5, 2009 at 11:56 AM

Oh, and by the way, I love the picture of your dad holding Callie. Even though they both hate to admit it, there is a strong family resemblance between our fathers. How cute are they!
Roxanne

January 5, 2009 at 11:58 AM

Hmm. THAT idea is one I might need to steal. Maybe TWO days a week even. I am determined to re-write and polish ms #1 and get it shipped off to some other pile of slush -and I am determined to have draft number one of future ms #3 complete before Spring is out. Unless I find a job, in which case I will extent my deadline through June.

Hmm....

January 5, 2009 at 12:05 PM

I am so happy to see you got your blog template back and working.

And, I'll miss you on Tuesdays, but it will be worth it when you have another book.

January 5, 2009 at 12:06 PM

You're a smart lady. I'm just curious as to why you chose Tuesdays? I might have to do something like that, because this "I'll blog less" resolution is so relative, it's kind of not working out.

January 5, 2009 at 12:08 PM

It's good to limit yourself a little, I have faith in you Heidi!

January 5, 2009 at 12:33 PM

Yay for getting more writing done-- I can't wait to read it. And since I never read Vogue, your confession was unnecessary on my part. Still love ya!

January 5, 2009 at 12:36 PM

I am catching up on all the holiday posts and as usual you have distracted me from my job with laughter!

January 5, 2009 at 12:36 PM

I've noticed that "blogging less" is a fairly common item on people's lists of resolutions. I love how yours is so specific and there is a purpose. It seems much more doable that way. Best of luck to you!!

January 5, 2009 at 12:41 PM

Love you guys! Going to respond and then I guess I had best unload the groceries from the car--Jess--it certainly is risky but I'm giving it a try, anyway. We'll see. Kristina-thanks (you should know)! Annette--actually, I have The Spouse commited to the dinner thing (daughter doing dishes)but I like your idea better! Woo hoo! Good thing I don't eat what they eat (my special diet and all) Roxanne--you crack me up! I am sure everyone would love it if I blogged less! And, yes, those two are two peas in a pod but so much better! (okay, so I like peas better than I used to!) Heather--good for you to have accomplished so much at such a young age! Most people who want to write books never do. Or if they do, they don't finish. Or if they finish, they don't submit. So, yay you! Lara, thanks, you are so sweet! Erin--I chose Tuesdays b/c I have more energy at the beginning of the week but Mondays are so busy and crazy with catching up after the weekend. By Tuesday, I am exhausted from Monday's catching up but still mentally competent b/c I'm not so behind on my sleep. We'll see how it goes. Kelline--thank you! Becky--the Vogue reference is a bit vague, I see--that's what the link was for. In fact, does anyone know what I really meant by the Vogue thing? I didn't think so. . . . Jen--thanks, and I'm glad! Laughing is good! Lisa--since you only post on Tues Thurs and Sat I might just have to cheat and read your Tuesday post (shhhhhh!)

January 5, 2009 at 1:03 PM

Tuesdays OFF? All my best posts are on Tuesdays!!! (Kidding)

Happy novel writing!

January 5, 2009 at 1:13 PM

I love it@! balance baby, I have such a love/hate relationship with that word.

you can do it and I wish you well on Tuesdays, may the creative writing fairies smile down upon you in plethora (did I spell that right?)

January 5, 2009 at 1:38 PM

Yeah...
Love the fact that you're wheeling and dealing in order to maximize your computer time!
And making the kids cook, another excellent idea!

January 5, 2009 at 2:43 PM

I'm wondering if anyone will notice that I don't actually write if I try to make this same arrangement at my house?

Good for you - we'll look forward to the blogging when we can get it and the novel too (after a reasonably sufficient amount of Tuesdays of course)!

January 5, 2009 at 2:54 PM

You are hilarious! I will miss you on Tuesdays, but have fun writing!

January 5, 2009 at 2:57 PM

My daughter wants to know if your husband finds the clock annoying?

One of my resolutions last year was to blog less which worked out about as well as Steve Evans being nice to everyone on the blogs (his infamous goal last year).

So if you can't blog, you'll have to call. I can't do without you. (Although I'll give you Tuesdays off and maybe even kick in some chocolate for the cause. :)

January 5, 2009 at 3:02 PM

Heather--I know! I about had a nervous breakdown when I realized that but I'll just have to get up at 12:01 AM and read your Tuesday post whilst The Spouse slumbers as there is not putting off the best of the best! Stacey--balance would be good but I am already composing a blog post about how I'm having a nervous breakdown about this whole thing. Abra--it gets worse. There has been even more wheeling and dealing attempted--not sure if it is all a done deal or not yet. Still, my plate is way lighter than yours right now. Hang in there!!! T--LOVE IT! LOVE IT! Why didn't I think of that sooner? I could be cuddled under a blanket with all the books that have been waiting for me to read them (I read exactly half a book in December if you don't count kiddie books) and magazines and cups of cocoa could cuddle with me. Oh man! I missed the boat on that one. I love how you think! Randi--you are so nice to say that! No one will even notice I am gone. Or they will and be glad and relieved and say Phew! to themselves repeatedly whilst wiping sweat from their brow b/c just keeping up with my comments that I make in my own comment section is enough reading of one bloggist in one day. Jami--I sent you a love email.

January 5, 2009 at 3:09 PM

As usual, I laughed out loud at your final line! I think a Tuesday off is good. You pack so much into the other days that it will just make us want to read you more when you come around!

I have read about time with family being important, in some magazine, so let me know how it all works out!

January 5, 2009 at 3:46 PM

Oh my goodness!!! I need to take you shopping with me in NYC. You haggle and then haggle some more!! I love it!! But, sadly, I totally understand! I will cry myself to sleep tonight with a huge box of chocolates.

January 5, 2009 at 6:37 PM

I think the difference between people who are naturally gifted writers and people who think that they could write something worthwhile, if they really worked at it ...someday, is the same as the difference between people who have to make resolutions to blog less and those who have to make resolutions to blog more. I fall into the latter category. In November when I tried SO hard to blog everyday, I felt the quality of my posts really increased, but since then, I have been just barely keeping up with things that in the back of my head I think "I should blog about that," and the quality of my writing has really suffered, so what I am getting at is in an effort to conserve time for your more time-worthy pursuits of actually writing, don't feel like you have to keep up with my blog, because it has digressed to just pictures of the kids and keeping up with family milestones.

January 5, 2009 at 7:01 PM

Good luck. =)

January 5, 2009 at 8:09 PM

Kazzy, you funny funny girl. April, I would love to go to New York with you (or anyone). But, ummm, what are you saying? I'm a good haggler? That I cut a good deal? Maybe a little too sweet? Being too selfish here? Yah, I get what you're getting at all nice and sweet and making me feel good and then slipping in the insult all passive aggressive-like. Crash has taught you well! (JK!!) Heather, am I such a big whiner? I want to keep up with your blog. I won't read any blogs I don't want to. If I show up, it is b/c I want to. Absolutely! (but thanks!) Amanda--thanks! I figure day one should be a breeze. After that, not so much but we'll see.

January 5, 2009 at 8:14 PM

You make me smile. I love your humor!

Enjoy your Tuesday breaks!

January 5, 2009 at 8:58 PM

Rebecca,--thanks! Love you!

January 5, 2009 at 11:07 PM

Oh my goodness. Now I understand why everyone is so up in arms.

May the force be with you.

And since you're not going to be reading this tomorrow, I'll just wait to tell you that we'll miss you, but we want you to be rich and famous so we'll sacrifice. sniffle sniffle. WAAAAAH!

January 6, 2009 at 1:30 AM

Your resolve to cut back on the amount that you are blogging is all in the name of good literature, my friend, so it is definitely a goal worth keeping! I think your last concern should be commenting on others' blogs. I know that I will still visit your site, with or without your comment love.

-Francesca

PS: I have GOT to get me one of those clocks. I am positive that my productivity during the day would skyrocket.

January 6, 2009 at 7:43 AM

You are such a hoot! Good luck with the new plan! And for those others of us also blogging less, we appreciate you cutting back so we don't miss out on as much!

January 6, 2009 at 10:21 AM

It'd be more fun to have Wooster as a butler. Or Roy.

January 6, 2009 at 10:58 AM

I'm reading/writing this on Tuesday. Promise you're not really there? It's not like we'd know if you were cheating and surely you could live with just a little sneak at your comments....after all, you read Vogue and we all know what type of person reads Vogue. The cheater pants kind of person!
Good luck keeping to it and enjoy all that chocolate!

January 6, 2009 at 5:37 PM

I need to figure out ways to do more serious writing done. Your ideas are pretty inspirational. Good luck!

January 6, 2009 at 6:00 PM

Yay for writting a new book! You go girl!

I'm seriously coveting that alarm clock. That is the coolest invention ever! Are you really lucky enough to actually own this little gem?

January 6, 2009 at 9:14 PM

Hey, I'm back! Yay! And my blog did not implode whilst I was gone! Double yay! Crash--thanks for the support! Francesca, wow! that's really sweet--thank you! Kimberly--you crack me up! Such a sweet way of saying Would you blog less already so I don't have a million hours of reading to do each day? Reed--no doubt. However, having Dr. House for a butler could be a little traumatic first thing in the morning--today I was told that everything today would go as I desire. I like the sound of that! Dr. House would probably just beat me with his cane. Meanwhile, Roy doesn't buttle. Megz--I really wasn't here yesterday. And I really don't read Vogue--that was an unaccountable lie esp. since I never said that I did (did I?)--Beck, yes, I agree--you should write stuff and get paid for it! Alyson, is that clock not wonderful? I do have it, it was a Christmas gift from The Spouse and I adore it--only--I'm afraid I might learn to hate the sounds of Jeeve's voice 'ere too long. THat would be really sad. So far, though, waking up is an adventure. You can get them online but they are imported from England so they are a wee bit expensive. Love it, though!

January 7, 2009 at 7:04 AM

I meant you haggled in a good way....really. Getting everyone to help out for a day so that you can write. Not the haggling that would get you locked in a van in NYC trying to buy knock-off purses (like what happened to my sister). That would just be horrifyingly funny (to me).

WELCOME BACK!!!!!

January 7, 2009 at 9:17 AM

Great links to Jeeves, Heidi!

January 7, 2009 at 1:25 PM

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