For those of you who didn’t have to get up before ten a.m. yesterday, today is the first day of daylight savings time--which means you aren’t yet totally feeling the pain. For moi, who had church yesterday morning at nine, (which really meant eight) (which meant I had to get up before the birds) (and the sun) this morning was some kind of agonizing, a la Guantanamo Bay (no disrespect to those who have experienced it) (by that I mean, Guantanamo Bay, though I doubt any of you currently read my blog) (just saying.)
This morning was worse than I had expected. It might have something to do with those two large brownies I had just before bed. (Or not. I’m not ready to fully condemn. I have a soft spot for brownies even if they are on the top of my no-no list). Every moment I stayed in bed after the alarm went off (it was our old alarm. Jeeves has been relegated to the closet. For some reason he has started ticking SUPER DUPER loud, preventing me from experiencing deep and refreshing sleep) was simply extending the torture, but I just couldn’t seem to move.
I told The Spouse, “I am currently getting out of bed. I’m just moving so slowly, you can’t see any physical evidence as of yet. Get back to me in an hour. Or, better yet, tomorrow”.
A few moments later, I told the Spouse (who is emotionally invested in the idea of me getting up and making his lunch before he goes to work), “I AM getting out of bed. Honest! If you had one of those slow motion cameras, you know, the kind that can track the progress of a cloud on a windless day or the unfurling of a flower over the course of the afternoon, you would be able to tell that I am currently getting up!”
This morning was worse than I had expected. It might have something to do with those two large brownies I had just before bed. (Or not. I’m not ready to fully condemn. I have a soft spot for brownies even if they are on the top of my no-no list). Every moment I stayed in bed after the alarm went off (it was our old alarm. Jeeves has been relegated to the closet. For some reason he has started ticking SUPER DUPER loud, preventing me from experiencing deep and refreshing sleep) was simply extending the torture, but I just couldn’t seem to move.
I told The Spouse, “I am currently getting out of bed. I’m just moving so slowly, you can’t see any physical evidence as of yet. Get back to me in an hour. Or, better yet, tomorrow”.
A few moments later, I told the Spouse (who is emotionally invested in the idea of me getting up and making his lunch before he goes to work), “I AM getting out of bed. Honest! If you had one of those slow motion cameras, you know, the kind that can track the progress of a cloud on a windless day or the unfurling of a flower over the course of the afternoon, you would be able to tell that I am currently getting up!”
A few minutes later I said, “Okay, really! If you had one of those special x-ray machines, you would see that the cells from the right side of my body are beginning to shift to the left, facilitating my eventual roll-out.”
He was buying none of it. He whipped open the curtains so the sun would shine in my eyes causing more agonizing torture-- but the sun was still sluggish. So, he turned on all the lights in the room, turned up the radio and put Mr. Jeeves (tick TICK TOCKKKKK) right next to my ear.
And so I’m up!
(I have some fun and interesting things to blog about this week—a closet I turned into an organization station that is so flippin’ cute I have to keep opening the door and taking a peek, a report on the progress of Miss D Two which I will be working on tomorrow instead of blogging and guess what? We had an actual bona fide murder in our little “Mayberry RFD” town on Saturday—the first in 13 years—and it was a very public, random, scandalous affair. My theory is that the perp went stark raving mad in anticipation of the time change but I’ll have to get back to you on that.)
He was buying none of it. He whipped open the curtains so the sun would shine in my eyes causing more agonizing torture-- but the sun was still sluggish. So, he turned on all the lights in the room, turned up the radio and put Mr. Jeeves (tick TICK TOCKKKKK) right next to my ear.
And so I’m up!
(I have some fun and interesting things to blog about this week—a closet I turned into an organization station that is so flippin’ cute I have to keep opening the door and taking a peek, a report on the progress of Miss D Two which I will be working on tomorrow instead of blogging and guess what? We had an actual bona fide murder in our little “Mayberry RFD” town on Saturday—the first in 13 years—and it was a very public, random, scandalous affair. My theory is that the perp went stark raving mad in anticipation of the time change but I’ll have to get back to you on that.)
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ways to induce madness in the general populace
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