Regret, An Emotion To Be Avoided At All Costs  

Posted by Heidi in

I’m pretty sure I would rather have all my teeth pulled than feel regret (though I’m pretty sure I’d regret that, too). Regret is icky and loathsome and avoiding it is my main motivation for toeing the line, doing what’s right and staying out of jail, not to mention that whole religion thing. (When I think of getting to the other side, it’s not the threat of fire and brimstone that makes me feel weak in the knees, it’s finding out that I was stupid and wrong whereupon I fall to the floor in a puddle of regret). As much as I try my best to stay clear of regrets I still have some:

J’regrette: the photo above featuring myself and The Spouse whilst in our teens ( here we come!) (and, yes, we dressed like that every day. Honest.) I regret posting it, allowing it to be taken, being seen in public like that, but most of all, not getting on the whole vampire bandwagon when the getting was good. Clearly I was jiggy with it (do people still say that?) even back in 1982 when this photo was taken, a year in which I’m willing to bet Stephenie Meyer was too young to watch vampire movies, let alone hang out with scary individuals like those pictured above.
J’regrette: Not watching seasons one through four of So You Think You Can Dance. I didn’t get jiggy with that until last week for the season five premiere. It’s not surprising that I love the show—I took years of ballet and was almost as determined to be a dancer as I was to be a writer. Many years of lack-of-talent later, it turns out I love love LOVE watching people try, fail and be humiliated by the judges. I admit to some squirming at first--I’m not utterly heartless. However, squirming soon gave way to a warm glow of pure enjoyment which led to fervent praying that the judges wouldn’t stop the madness before I’d had my fill which very quickly disintegrated into a full lack of decorum. I can now regularly be found pelting popcorn at the T.V. screen, shouting crude directives through a bullhorn and engaging in other bad behavior generally reserved for professional baseball games. (The best part? Watching the losers wallow in regret. Talk about dodging a bullet . . . Ah, sweet relief!)

J’regrette: making the comment in response to an accusation on The Miss D page of Goodreads that the reason I am not and never would be a Jane Austen wannabe is because “Jane Austen is dead”. What the what? Even I don’t get that one. (The author of the accusation removed it out of pity for my obsessive need to clear my name though my response remains. Go figure.)

J’regrette: referring to whales and muumuus in the comment section of this post here. In my defense, once upon a time I had a child in mucho need of whacky-brain-chemistry medication whose young (read: naïve) (or “untried”, “stupid”, “pregnant and hysterical”, whichever suits you best) therapist decided that this child was too young to need actual drugs so all of her problems must be The Mom’s Fault. As a result, my child didn’t get the meds she needed until after I jumped through many fiery hoops whilst juggling miniature poodles with my mouth. Ever since, I have had this unreasonable fear of being held accountable for my kid’s (clearly) inherited chemical imbalances. (Um. Do I need to regret using the phrase “pregnant and hysterical” now?)
J’regrette: Being such a hot mommy blogger that Christy of A Lil' Welsh Rarebit felt compelled to nominate me as such. Actually, I think she’s got a hinge loose in the attic but if nominating me keeps her calm and not needing an extra dose of her medication, who am I to get in the way of good mental health? (JK, Christy!) Truthfully now, folks, I think Christy is totally sweet (as well as totally insane) to choose this particular category (or any category) and she is now my new e-BFF so there ya go. If you feel inclined and have nothing better to do and are bored out of your mind and are stark raving mad to boot, you could go vote for me (and tell your friends!). Like Christy says, there’s lots of Mormon bloggers out there (and we all know how much clout we Mormon voters have—remember Cjane winning for Best Major Blogger? Yeah). What Christy doesn’t realize is that many of the other gals nominated for hottest mommy blogger are also Mormon (including Cjane) and they are wayyyyyy hotter (and younger) than I.

J’regrette. (But I'm not bitter or anything . . .)

This entry was posted on Friday, May 29, 2009 at Friday, May 29, 2009 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

50 wise, witty and wonderful comments

You just put this post up and already you have four votes. You only need in the low 22s to get to page two! This contest is all yours Heidi!!! Okay, I'm off to take my meds now. haha!

May 29, 2009 at 11:02 AM

Of all sad words of tongue and pen,
...what was it I was saying again?

Ah, the miracle of forgetness! Okay, so I stole that term. Oh, well, I'm sure Robert Farrell Smith won't mind.

- Chas

May 29, 2009 at 11:17 AM

Why am I giggling over your regrets? Stop being so dang funny, woman!

May 29, 2009 at 11:21 AM

I just started watching STYCD too! And I am loving it.

May 29, 2009 at 11:30 AM

I have numerous regrets too--and when I think of them I just want to take a ball point pen to my eyeballs. I figure that is the fastest way to get inside my brain to rip out the portion retaining those memories. Someday you may see me on the news as a result of this action.

May 29, 2009 at 11:53 AM

Christy--I'm so relieved to know you are taking good care of yourself (hee hee) Chas--there are no words. But thanks! Kim--now there's a comment you won't regret! (Neither do I!) Kristina--thanks for reading the first two paragraphs of my lengthy post. I know you're a busy gal . . .Becky--you're so funny! I'll keep that in mind when I am watching the local news of Arizona. :)

May 29, 2009 at 11:55 AM

Dang, Chas beat me to it. Now I have to regret not checking my blog list sooner...

May 29, 2009 at 12:01 PM

No regrets... okay, so really I have many. Maybe that will be my 200th post because there are probably at least that many (if I started to list I don't think I'd ever stop).

May 29, 2009 at 12:21 PM

1) You are not allowed to regret that photo. It's fully awesome.

2) In the voting process (I have forgotten my password to that site, but a new one is being mailed to me).

3) My Gertrude Jekyll roses are now in bloom, and I will soon be photographing their glory and dedicating one such image to you.

4) You crack me up.

May 29, 2009 at 12:21 PM

Oh, and PS, or 5) I totally get your Jane wannabe riposte. Jane's dead. Who would wannabe dead? Nobody. Therefore, your statement makes perfect sense and you have nothing to regret.

May 29, 2009 at 12:22 PM

Wait! That IS a Halloween picture right? You didn't really dress like that ever day... Sorry - I'm gullible so I have to ask.

I just voted for you. Both as me and as "Underdogs". Christy is sending me details for your Underdogs listing - so you're kind of being forced into it...

May 29, 2009 at 12:23 PM

Thems are some regrets. Fortunately there are some regrets that can be rectified---surely there will be a catchup DVD of seasons 1-4 of SYTYCD.

May 29, 2009 at 12:43 PM

Pam--I guess great minds think alike,eh? Julie--I was running into that problem, too, but I stopped for the sake of my readers. Luisa--I could eat you up but I'll settle for the recipes in your new book! I haven't even registered for that site, yet. I guess I oughta! I love Gertrude Jekylls and can't wait to have a photo of one dedicated to moi! Glad I crack you up--glad you got my Jane is dead thing. Is that what I meant? Hey, sounds good to me (tho I suspect I might have meant that she is one of a kind and the fact that she is dead merely further evidence of her scarcity)(but that's pretty lame) Kate--yes, we dressed like that for a Halloween dance but I do enjoy making people wonder. hee hee Megz--love that idea! Can't wait!

May 29, 2009 at 12:56 PM

In the process of voting for you! (signing up acct. and stuff)
I'll have to send you a pic of the hubby and I similarly dressed in our teens. You'll laugh your butt off.
Be kind to you, Heids. You're an excellent mommy and I've seen you in person so I KNOW you're a hot blogger!

May 29, 2009 at 1:22 PM

I think there are MANY comments out there that I regret... usually fueled by too little sleep, too much time arguing with a teenager, and too many carbs... I'd go and remove them all - but they've already been read and frankly I don't remember where they are.

I'm off to vote you hot mommy blogger you!

May 29, 2009 at 1:26 PM

ermmm, I mean that I'm off to vote for you as soon as I can remember my log-in information... grrr...

May 29, 2009 at 1:29 PM

Wow, you dressed like that all the time? I'm impressed with your dedication. Although I can still understand the regret. I too hate regretting things from my life.

May 29, 2009 at 1:47 PM

No way did you always dress like that. I refuse to believe it.

May 29, 2009 at 2:06 PM

Oh, regrets. We all have them, I suppose. All except me, I mean, of course.

And no one need ever regret using the phrase "pregnant and hysterical", in my opinion. Those two words just fit so naturally together. Just ask my kids.

May 29, 2009 at 2:07 PM

Unfortunately, my hubby and I weren't dressed up as vampires, but beach bums in our sad teen pictures. I wish we were cool enough to be vampires. Did I miss the memo?

Goin' to vote right now. =)

May 29, 2009 at 2:34 PM

Ah, Laura, you're so sweet! And, yes, send me the picture! I could use a laugh . . .T--yep, that login info is the pits! Thora and Barb-I lied. 99.99% of my blog is the absolute truth but once in a while, I throw in a fib. Should I regret it? Lisa--I intend to corner them and pepper them with very specific questions and then make a reality show out of the whole thing (I've been watching too much Jon and Kate) Carolyn---people only want to be beach bums when they don't live near the beach. As we do/did, being beach bums just wasn't cool enough. Going to the beach, however, will always be cool!

May 29, 2009 at 2:58 PM

I think I'm going to regret commenting with this link link as soon as I push "publish." Or at least I should, if I have a soul.

May 29, 2009 at 3:24 PM

Apparently giggling gets in the way of proper remorse, at least for those of us lacking souls. Do forgive.

May 29, 2009 at 3:27 PM

I think it is nice that you knew your husband way-back-when and have pictures together, even if they are vampire. I wish that I could go back that far with my honey.

The first paragraph of your post could have been straight from my life. I am completely motivated by a desire to not regret. It's the strongest motivation I know. Honestly, if the spirit can bring all things to our remembrance after this life I'm a little bit concerned. I hope the atonement can take away the sting of regret!

May 29, 2009 at 3:47 PM

Myimaginaryblog--I have a feeling I should know your name. . . sorry! And, hey, good one! I hate to get it wrong, I really do. I should have double checked before assuming my memory of high school french would serve me well. J'regrette. (I better go fix it before Erin shows up. Or maybe she did and just slunk away, silent). Heatherlyn--it IS nice to have photos of us from way back when. It is kind of like having a shared past. Wait! It's exactly like having a shared past!

May 29, 2009 at 4:17 PM

Still giggling . . . (thanks for being a good sport.)

May 29, 2009 at 4:27 PM

Nice picture!
I have watched SYTYCD since the beginning and love it!
And I'll go over right now and vote for you for Hottest Mommy blgoger!

May 29, 2009 at 4:31 PM

potentially my biggests regrets include when i don't deal with my kids after cooling off (from anger) and not listening to my father's advice on boys more before i got married. it embarrasses me to no end.

May 29, 2009 at 5:42 PM

To funny...I used to think that that your younger son looked more like you, but I see him a bit in Mr. Vampire.

May 29, 2009 at 6:44 PM

Zina--you too! Sher--really, I should nominate YOU for hottest mommy blogger. If I ever get me a log in for that site, I think will! Katy--he really does look like both of us. He looks more like my husband as an adult then he does when he was his same age which is weird.

May 29, 2009 at 6:52 PM

Oh I love that picture. That's definitely the best photo to post on the day you get nominated to be the hottest mommy bloggy. Or was it just hottest blogger?

Did I read too fast or is that really your engagement photo? I so have an upcoming engagement post coming and I'm going to steal that photo.

I can't believe someone accused you of the Jane Austen wanna be thingie. How funny you responded. hee hee You go, Miss Heidi!

May 29, 2009 at 7:15 PM

I just tried to vote for you but I can't remember my password or username or which email address I used. I tried every possible combination of possibilities. DRAT! I voted for you in my heart.

Did you get engaged on Halloween? Cuz I did.

May 29, 2009 at 7:19 PM

Are we twins? We were dressed up as Janet and Michael Jackson when we got engaged.

May 29, 2009 at 7:19 PM

I feel the exact same way about regret. And SYTYCD. But I've been yelling for all five seasons.

May 29, 2009 at 8:02 PM

You are way to cool for regrets girl. You are darling. And congrats on the vote. I am going over there.

May 29, 2009 at 9:28 PM

Like T and Crash I regret not remembering my pass word and log in name. What is up with that?

Also I regret not watching the first season of SYTYCD, love that show.

May 29, 2009 at 9:50 PM

Oh, I don't know . . . I think you are pretty hot. :-) Congrats on the nomination.

May 29, 2009 at 9:55 PM

Crash--No! Not our engagement photo but it made me laugh to say so which meant I couldn't resist. We love Halloween but we got engaged on Valentines Day. Melanie--that just goes to show how much smarter you are than moi. Jan--thank you! You're darling, too! Hey, we should nominate you for hottest mommy blogger, too! Pat--there's a lot of that going around. I'm sure I'll forget mine too (as soon as I get one. Or maybe I DID already get one and I have forgotten that I did). Joy--thank you, you're sweet!

May 29, 2009 at 10:04 PM

That photo is fabulous! If you want to see regret photos I'll have to send you a Glamour Shot I did with one of my sisters. Denim jacket, the stylist did my hair (which was ratted out), it was quite a site.

You are definitely a hot blogger! I voted for you even though I did mentally curse the registration process! For some reason I kept making mistakes so it took 3 times to get it accepted!

May 29, 2009 at 11:09 PM

Been a fan of So You Think... since day one, and I am not even close to being a dancer, but I have had many a teary moment watching.

Yeah, regrets will wipe you emotionally for sure. But every one has them and we just start the next day doing our best.

And you are for sure a hot blogger :)

May 29, 2009 at 11:39 PM

Okay, so I finally got my computer to let me vote! Yea for you!

And let me tell you how I love that photo and your bravery for posting it. And even more for labeling it your engagement photo. You crack me up, my friend.

May 30, 2009 at 6:23 AM

I can't believe you wore that on the daily. Too funny!

ALSO, you are totally a hot blogger. You are hot, as in an attractive woman, but you are also hot as in a popular and widely read blogger. Hot stuff. I mean TONS of people read (and lurve you) and you are always guest blogging somewhere around this little world, are you not?

May 30, 2009 at 7:11 AM

I'm pretty sure I'd rather not have any teeth pulled LOL I love this picture of you guys - NO regrets!

May 30, 2009 at 7:48 AM

I an addicted to SYTYCD! I fell in love with it last season.

That Vampire pic puts Bella and Edward to shame.
You are still HOT!

May 30, 2009 at 5:27 PM

Jen--I so want to see that photo! And thanks for your persistence! Kazzy--if you say so! (blush) Rachel--thanks, sweetie! Heather, goodness, thanks! Fionia--if I did, at least they wouldn't be yellow anymore, eh? Sabrina--you crack me up! (But thanks!)

May 31, 2009 at 7:13 AM

I just love reading your blog. And you are hot.

May 31, 2009 at 2:49 PM

I think it might be therapeutic to write a post of regrets. I'm SURE I would regret it though and erase it...

May 31, 2009 at 4:40 PM

I love so you think you can dance --great fun and AMAZING talent and the choreographers once the actual competition part starts ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD.
I think you could be a Hot mommy blogger
and love the vampire outfit --you certainly were "jiggy with it" way back then

May 31, 2009 at 5:18 PM

Never, never regret a great costume. Particularly a vampire-related one. No matter how embarrassed you are of photographic evidence, you were lovin' it at the time and that's all that matters. That's my motto, and I'm stickin' to it (even when my own vampire photos may get posted somewhere).


June 5, 2009 at 5:04 PM

Regret - *le sigh*

Bitter? I can relate.

June 7, 2009 at 8:48 AM

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