The Unyielding Nature of Boxes  

Posted by Heidi in

Some have asked about the symbolism in my last post’s poem. Others have commented on the last line as being their favorite. (It’s mine, too.) We all live in boxes, the boundaries set either by circumstances, obligations, finances, schedules, rules, the expectations of others, what we expect of ourselves, how we define ourselves and how we are defined by others, our place in a family, society or organization, the country we live in, the home we live in, the body we live in or the people with whom we live.

When boxes get too small, there are struggles to escape. I experience a lot of pain in my life because many of my boxes are too small, yet, when I try to get out of the tightest ones, sooner or later, I get hit with a “shoe” (usually it’s sooner than later but the ones that come later hurt more). The “other shoe” that always drops at some point is the fall-out or consequences of my attempt to flee a particular box. It seems to me (when I’m feeling down) that there is always one in wait to beat me back into my box—whatever box it is—causing me either physical, mental or emotional pain—or all three--in the process. It makes me quite gun-shy, paranoid, even full of anxiety. There are times when I am scared to leave a box, as tiny as it is, because the thought of doing so or even thinking outside of it is asking for trouble.

I was having a terrible fibromyalgia attack the night I wrote the poem so the comments from those who felt they could really relate to that kind of physical pain mean a lot to me. Plus, it had been YEARS since I wrote a poem, something that used to be my number one choice of expression, and it was lovely to get such positive feedback. Thank you.



On a lighter note, those who want a crack at this gorgeous fabric can find it, as well as some other fun auctions HERE. Feel no obligation. I have no wish to put you in a box. Have a lovely day!

This entry was posted on Monday, August 24, 2009 at Monday, August 24, 2009 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

16 wise, witty and wonderful comments

somedays i go from box to box. trying to figure out which one is most comfortable for that day. i'm looking forward to the day of NO BOXES! just me and my joy and happiness being me! I'm getting closer, i can feel it!!

love the fabric, btw!

August 24, 2009 at 12:36 PM

I am bound and determined to live outside any and all boxes. It is a tough road to follow and I often feel that I should conform but with my husband and kids thinking i am great no matter what it makes things a lot easier. I pray that you feel release from your boxes, and of course that you find high end buyers for your beautiful fabric.

August 24, 2009 at 12:51 PM

I resist being put into any kind of box, by anyone, ever. But I think it's harder to resist the temptation to put others in boxes. I love discovering another side to someone and realizing I was wrong.

August 24, 2009 at 1:54 PM

The fabric is beautiful and I'm very, very sorry about the pain. That boxes analogy is one of the best ones I've ever heard. I love it. (Especially the shoe part.)

I love you the most though. *hugs*

August 24, 2009 at 2:00 PM

I'm always trying to look at things from other peoples' perspectives because I know that mine is not the only one!

You know, though, more than anything, I think most people TRY to keep themselves in a box. Pad it. Decorate it. Make it smell good. I don't know why. Life is so short. Why not consider things from different points of view. There are so many different paths that lead to the same destination.

But I will admit that it is very difficult to respond to things differently. To change expectations. To really FEEL differently about the same situation.

August 24, 2009 at 3:14 PM

That is some incredibly gorgeous fabric!

August 24, 2009 at 7:23 PM

You may not want to know this, but for a second I thought the fabric was covering a mirror and I freaked out.

So glad the pain wasn't caused by what I thought it was...

I think I know how you feel when you talk about breaking free from our boxes. It's hard. Sometimes I get sick just thinking about it.

I like the way you phrased it. It kind of sums it up better than I've ever heard before.

August 24, 2009 at 8:51 PM

Oh, that is so so so so true.

Be-U-tifully said.

MISS YA! LUB YA!

August 25, 2009 at 1:32 PM

Boxes are soooo confining. I love it when I can finally break free from my boxes!

August 25, 2009 at 10:16 PM

I am just reading the poem now. What a beautiful and powerful poem.

August 26, 2009 at 8:28 AM

I am so happy to have found you today. I am in a box that is so small as I am too scared to get out of it. It is closing in on me and killing me . It is time to get out. Thank you ,Janet

August 26, 2009 at 12:23 PM

Thanks for sharing. Hearing about other's burdens helps put our own problems in perspective.
I love the fabric. But it goes so well with your style-- how can you part with it??

August 26, 2009 at 12:57 PM

I am sorry you have to live with so much pain--both physically and emotionally. And I understand the box thing. I don't live by my sisters and so when I get around them I find they have never allowed me to change from when I was 21. They all see me exactly the same and treat me that way. Which is actually more humorous to me than anything else. What has been more painful is learning about the boxes people in my ward and stake place me in. Because of my church calling or my husband's people have certain expectations of me that I think are rather unrealistic and often I feel very narrowly defined. I guess in the end all we can do is be true to ourselves and not worry about the limits others place on us.

August 29, 2009 at 8:23 AM

I'm so sorry about the boxes and the pain. It's so hard.

Be well and know that this one is willing to help you out if you need it.

August 30, 2009 at 12:55 PM

I hope that you will continue to write poems if that helps you. :)

August 31, 2009 at 10:39 AM

just thinking about you and hope all is well. i don't know how your girl does with her depression when she goes to school..i worry about her. but mine used to hide it more during the school year. pray for your family always.

August 31, 2009 at 5:41 PM

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