The truth is, those who left anonymous comments on that post clearly weren’t familiar with the unspoken rules of blogging and did not, I believe, have any idea how hostile their comments came across to others. Therefore, in hopes that she/they/he? (surely not!) were to drop by again, I am posting some of the unspoken rules that were inadvertently broken. (Just know that I wanted to write these in a fun, snappy way but figured my anonymous commentor might take it as sarcasm.)
Know the culture of the blog you are reading. Blogdania, bloglandia, the blog o’ sphere, call it what you will, is an inherently positive place where people go to support and encourage one another. In other words, you would never go to someone’s party to which you have been invited and say, “I hate what you’ve done with the place, you chose the wrong color for the walls and this carpet is old and needs to be replaced.” A blog post is a “set piece”, something someone wants to share with others, true, but that is not the same as wishing to invite criticism. Unless a blog is political or controversial in nature, or clearly says “What do you think?” somewhere in the post, they aren’t looking for comments correcting them on the choices they are making. Rather they are looking for validation. If you don’t have it to give, comment on something you can be positive about or just skip it. (This is particularly true of the Mommy Blog culture.)
A blog post is not 100% accurate. A bloggist understands that it is impossible to know the whole story from a blog post. If I were to detail every bit of information that had a bearing on this situation with my son, my post would have taken hours to read. That’s not what blogging is about. This particular blog post was focusing mostly on the aspect of how crazy the world is that a second grader would be perceived as someone who attacks someone with a weapon. Of course there is another side to the story but that doesn’t mean you, dear reader, are in the position to accurately deliver it.
People’s Children Are Off Limits. Certainly you would never walk up to a person and start commenting on how they are performing as a parent. This is especially true online where people are very protective of their kids. Many do not name their children (so naming them in a comment is also a no-no) and some do not blog about their children at all or refrain from posting pictures that show their faces. The fact that I did blog in such detail about my Little Guy shows that I was very upset and was therefore even less open to the detracting comments from an unidentified person.
Know when to stop. If other commentors are having a hard time with what you are saying, it would be wise to simply slink back into the shadows. There were some comments being posted in my defense which, though I agreed with them, might have been too hurtful for someone who had no idea what she was getting into. Like I said, blogdania is a very supportive environment and people get upset when someone they know is getting a dressing-down in public.
All that being said, it is my hope that if you are truly my friend, we can simply forget about it and put it behind us, no questions asked.
In other news: I had my follow up mammogram yesterday which was digital and so a bit different and faster. Just as I was breathing a sigh of relief, the technician informed me that I needed to have an ultrasound and that they were going to fit me in. (Urgent much?) When that was done and I was breathing a sigh of relief, I was informed that the head of the department was going to do another ultrasound (Wha!?!?) which she did and then informed me that the area of concern is a cluster of cysts and no longer a cause of concern. Phew!
Then I walked out into the waiting area to see that my Little Guy was bleeding from a fall he had taken when he and The Spouse were running around outside (they had to wait much longer than expected poor things!) and so we bundled him into the car whereupon my cell rang with the message that my daughter was locked out of the house and the Big Guy would not open the door for her b/c he was stuck in the bathroom without any toilet paper and us still twenty minutes away from home. (You do not want to hear how that story ended).
(Trying to figure out how to home school and boost our income and stay healthy AND blog, my friends . . .please forgive if it takes me a while to figure it all out . . .)
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