The Big Guy #1--The Day I Applied For The Job  

Posted by Heidi in

In my youth I attended church with a very handsome but very physically disabled young man named Ron who, due to a birth accident to his brain, had trouble controlling his flailing limbs and speaking clearly enough to be understood. By the time we were teenagers, Ron was nearly an adult and most of the crowd I hung out with would rather ignore him than interact with him.

One evening his parents attended a party my parents were hosting at our home and Ron came along. Whilst the adults chatted, he became bored, got up from his seat and started hobbling around the room with his cane. I was watching him so when he stopped to look at a painting on the wall and indicated interest, I started talking to him about it. I told him that it was of a street scene in Paris, that the matting was really a soft velvet ribbon, that the paint was actually “bumpy” because it had been applied in thick strokes. I knew he was listening and understood because he immediately lifted his shaking hand to touch the painting. Afraid the painting would be knocked to the floor from his jerky movements, I put my hand on his and guided it, straight and sure, to the raised paint. He was quiet and concentrating on holding still but once he had touched the painting with his fingertip and moved his hand far enough away, he laughed, loud and long, and his whole body laughed with him. It was the first time I realized there was nothing wrong with his mind, nothing wrong at all whatsoever.

I often look back on that day as my first job interview with God.

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 1, 2009 at Sunday, March 01, 2009 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

33 wise, witty and wonderful comments

I think YOU'RE the one that is WONDERFUL and WISE, and also witty too! :) I love this, you truly are an amazing person!

March 1, 2009 at 1:34 PM

You never cease to amaze me! You were who you are before you came! I am so glad you are true to yourself.

March 1, 2009 at 1:52 PM

This made me tear up a little.

I think it takes a special person to look past the physical ailments, or even the mental ones and see the amazing spirit behind them.

A lady in my ward growing up had CP, and had even managed to get married and raise 4 children. I always thought her husband was a truly remarkable man.

Joel's cousin has CP, too. And she is one of the greatest people on earth.

March 1, 2009 at 2:27 PM

Heidi, I rarely get moved to tears over blog posts, but that one choked me up; beautiful. Just beautiful.

March 1, 2009 at 2:30 PM

Thank you for this post. Wonderful!

March 1, 2009 at 2:56 PM

Thanks for sharing. This is what I try to help my children see. One of my children had trouble with a child that has a disability - without telling him about the disability I encouraged him to find something likable. Turns out they have much in common.... another post that makes me feel like you are a friend, Heidi!!

March 1, 2009 at 3:08 PM

See, Heids! You're AWESOME and everyone agrees! I'm honored to know someone as thoughtful, patient, and instictively kind as you. =]

March 1, 2009 at 3:13 PM

Your post was so touching! Perhaps we really are prepared and come with what it takes to get through our particular set of challenges with some grace. It is a very comforting perspective.

March 1, 2009 at 3:47 PM

I love you. Thanks for sharing such a great experience.

March 1, 2009 at 3:59 PM

Beautiful, Heidi. Simply beautiful.

You are a wonderful, special person!

March 1, 2009 at 4:08 PM

That was very sweet and touched my heart. It sounds like it was an interview and you got the job. You proved yourself worthy and a special spirit came to your home. I am sure there were people smiling in heaven that day when you passed the test.

March 1, 2009 at 4:12 PM


March 1, 2009 at 4:18 PM

Sheesh. You kill me. I have no doubt that you were being groomed. And it takes a unique person to do what you do.

March 1, 2009 at 5:19 PM

When I was a teenager, I read many books about children with disabilities (two of my favorites were Karen and With Love from Karen by Marie Killalea). I sometimes wondered/worried whether I was destined to be a mother to a disabled child. My second job as a live-in nanny included taking care of a child who had severe CP. After that experience, I stopped worrying about it. I didn't get married until I was 33years old, so ABC and I were in a hurry to have our family, but it's one of those things that can't always be rushed. I was 37 when daughter number two was born. The OB who delivered her had made me very nervous about my age, and I told ABC that I really thought we should stop by the time I was forty. I was three months shy of forty when daughter number three was born. ABC and I both had really strong feelings about having children of each gender, so I agreed that I would try one time after the age of forty to see if we could have a son. When I was 41and a half, I lost the baby boy I was carrying. He died in utero as a result of being a trisomy 18 baby. I had to be induced and deliver the tiny guy. He was not a pretty sight. I was really torn between feelings of gratitude that I didn't have to go through a whole pregnancy and then deliver a baby only to watch him die, and mourning the fact that he had died before birth and was thus not sealed to us. The doctors strongly discouraged us from trying to have another child and indicated that having one child with a chromosomal abnormality doubled our chances of having another such child, and the chances were already relatively high because of my age. At first I agreed with them, because I couldn't stand the possibility of going through that again. However, before very long, the desire for another baby overcame all of the fear. It took almost exactly two years for us to conceive again, but during that time, I gained a real testimony of the fact that the children who are sent to us do not arrive randomly, and that it really didn't matter what the statistics are, if the Lord planned to send me a baby with a disability, it wouldn't matter if I were twenty or forty. I actually felt that for me, it was less likely, because if we were meant to have such a child, why couldn't we have kept our little boy? Ultimately, we came to the conclusion that the Lord was preparing us for the fact that we really were meant to be the parents of all girls. I have to say, that the knowledge that our last little lady was strong and healthy went a long way towards easing my disappointment.

March 1, 2009 at 5:51 PM

And you passed your job interview with flying colors!!!

Hubby has always worked with disabled individuals and has the patience of Job - I'm still working on it I'm afraid...

March 1, 2009 at 6:41 PM

I absolutely LOVE that last line. How true.

March 1, 2009 at 7:59 PM

I firmly believe that we all have within us whatever we need to raise the children we are given--it is part of the plan. That's one reason I don't judge moms who do things differently than I do (that, and the fact that I have been so judged and so hated it) and have confidence in all mothers who are sincerely engaged in raising their children the best that they can. To Pam specifically--when I was expecting my youngest, we were told there was a chance he would have trisomy 18. The fact that he was born healthy and strong in spite of many many close calls, I didn't care one bit that he wasn't a girl (we really wanted another girl!) So much of what happens to us, esp. the tough stuff, happens in order to shape us for what is to come. Thanks to all of you for your words of love and encouragement--you are the best!

March 1, 2009 at 8:49 PM

Also posted on my blog:

Thanks, Heidi. My husband feels strongly that we will know that boy/man who was briefly a part of our life when we cross the veil. However, our pain and struggle were short-lived (though there's still a little sorrow) but I think you and your family have earned all the tremendous joy you will feel in the day of resurrection when you get to know your Big Guy as he really is.

Also, I really enjoyed Miss Delacourt Speaks Her Mind. The dialogue was so much fun, and the clean romance is refreshing. I've already passed it along to a friend. Keep up that writing!

March 1, 2009 at 10:47 PM

Cry, cry.

You are truly great.

March 2, 2009 at 12:29 AM

Thanks for sharing this. Sometimes it is important to remember what is really most important is the spirits inside these bodies of ours.

March 2, 2009 at 12:42 AM

love this. what a kick in that last line.

March 2, 2009 at 2:23 AM

You are amazing. And you nailed the interview!

March 2, 2009 at 3:58 AM

Thanks you guys--I didn't mean to be "braggy" or self promoting--I guess I was just in a mood to share. Thanks for taking it all in the spirit it was intended.

March 2, 2009 at 7:25 AM

You are such a good writer! As a mother with a few children that have a varitey of disabilities, I know that my prayers were answered. I prayed for patience.

March 2, 2009 at 8:19 AM

what an inspiring read thsi morning :)


I talk about something similar in my book that is almost done

March 2, 2009 at 9:08 AM

Did you see the photos of Ron's 50th birthday that John J. posted at facebook?

March 2, 2009 at 9:22 AM

What a great story... I'm trying to figure out when I had my interview -

March 2, 2009 at 10:29 AM

Oh Heidi this made me tear up.

March 2, 2009 at 2:15 PM

I love this Heidi!

March 2, 2009 at 6:46 PM

Kellne--it is certainly hard, isn't it? Prayer helps. Stacey--I can't wait to read it! Reed--yes I did. He sure is a handsome guy! Abra--thanks! Janelle--yeah, me too, Laura--thank you!

March 3, 2009 at 9:08 AM

Oh what a beautiful post!!!! I love it.

March 3, 2009 at 10:30 AM

Beautiful! This is one of the loveliest things I've seen you share. The last sentence is breathtaking. And what a window into your soul! You are amazing.

March 4, 2009 at 10:45 PM

You have definitely been chosen. I love your point of view.

June 1, 2009 at 9:38 PM

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